Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
His smile alone tells you that much, but there are a few standout points that really capture how eager Ricky the sexpot is. At around 13 seconds, he can barely contain his excitement and just wants to talk about how happy he is to be there. Another 13 seconds and he’s grabbing at the mic to deliver his mantra: the Rippin’ and the Tearin’, the Rippin’ and the Tearin’. I’m really struggling to find superlatives in which to describe this moment.
With 40 visits to Hedonism 2 under his, err, speedo belt, I can only imagine the situations him and his horny pecker have found themselves ‘in’. He’s probably met Byron Kelleher at one of these things, and again, I shudder to think about what those two tweezers got up to.
Then the dancing... White guys.
You’ll never hear Beyonce’s ‘Diva’ again and not think of Rick thrusting his love in your direction.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Monday, August 09, 2010
Everyone’s got one of these friends. You know the guy; they shovel their food down faster than everyone else at the table, then sit and wait patiently, eyeing up everyone else’s food at the table; carefully analysing which female is most likely to be defeated by her meal and therefore present an opportunity for this food-loving machine to ‘mop up the scraps’.
I’ve got a few friends that fit in to this category, and one of them is Joey Wharehinga, who I have the good fortune of working alongside on a daily basis. Being able to observe this beast in close proximity and study his eating habits has been quite a wild ride. I’ve always known he had a love of food – you only have to check out his twitter to know that much (@justjoe_) – but today he told me a story that perfectly illustrated his lust for greasy burgers.
It was a pretty standard Saturday night for old mate Joey ‘the social piranha’. He’d been out at Hayden’s 21st and had a few beers there, before heading out to the JuiceTV Bar n Grill (Windsor Castle) for some album release party, before finally mincing it up at The White House where he took in a stag do and looked at some pies.
Somehow, throughout the course of this socialising filled evening, he was able to fit in visits to Wendy’s, the one and only White Lady, AND McDonalds. He reckons these visits spanned about 3 hours, and included 10 burgers (including the sizeable White Lady burgers). I was quite astounded that he achieved this feat, all the while still downing a few brews. So astounded in fact that I just had to share it with all of you. Marvel.
Here’s what Joe drove in to his gut on that fateful Saturday night:
1 x Bacon Cheeseburger – snack.
The White Lady:
1 x Cheeseburger – filled a gap.
1 x Big Mac Combo – standard.
1 x Fillet O Fish – piss.
1 x McChicken – processed treat. no mayo.
1 x Quarter Pounder – excessive meat.
4 x Cheeseburgers – dirty little cocksuckers.
He took Monday off work.
p.s. I also used to know this guy at Primary School who could run on gravel with bare feet without losing any of his speed. what a result.
Friday, July 30, 2010
I know we’re supposed to be giving them away and all that, but it was just too hard, we had to open one Boba Fett Helmet; we resisted it for a whole day but he just keep looking at me.
We all had a turn wearing the helmet, and did a few gag photos of us meandering through our every day work, but wearing the helmet whilst doing so. Crack up. What happened after that was quite disgusting, but nevertheless more entertaining than a few lame shots of us wearing the helmet at our desks.
Introducing, Hayden ‘The Hammer’ Bentley. P.s. It’s Hayden’s 21st on Saturday, so for all Ladies wanting to send in their panties, just drop them off to our store at 302 Great North Rd.
Oh yeah, giveaway to follow next week. And all the toys are brand new, completely clean and sterilized.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
The Auckland City Mission think it’s pretty stink how people in poverty suffer. They dedicate their lives to it. They also think it’s super stink how much more people suffer when it’s freezing cold in Winter. They’ve dedicated this week to really helping out people suffering this Winter.
ASB have come to the party in a big way, contributing $40,000 cold hard cash (lol) to the Auckland City Mission. The money’s in the safe; the safe’s in the ice - You can free the safe. Simply txt 305 with your initials and your choice of FIRE, STEAM, OR WATER to melt the safe. then watch it at www.icemission.co.nz
We’ve done it, and it’s wicked fun. Here’s a screen shot of our effort. It only came up with MR but, MRV didn’t fit. I’m an idiot.
Big ups to all the dudes on twitter helping out too. @Giapo, @UrgentCouriers, @ASBBank, @VodafoneNZ etc… goooood shiiiitttt.
oh and buy the t-shirt too.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Every now and then a blog will come along and just completely blow your mind.
For me, that blog is ‘Stuff in my mouth’. Hearing the name, you’d probably (and perhaps reasonably) assume that this blog is one that carries rather questionable content. Not so.
Over the past year or so this fantastic girl and her fantastic little friend have humoured me with the various little items they’ve found time to photograph in their mouths. The items vary. From 14 Giant Jaffa’s, to 22 pencils, to a Dick Tracy figurine – their witty word play and deadpan expressions have always left me extremely satisfied.
I’ve no recollection of how I stumbled across this blog; I can only praise the heavens that such a miraculous gift came in to my life.
I suggest you try it.
Monday, July 05, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
But I saw something this morning that changed my mood. I'd seen it previously, but something really opened my eyes this time as I watched his poignant interview.
The world needs more people like this. What a good dude.
Friday, June 18, 2010
So yeah, get on board and make some bids. We vouch for the tees too. Some clued up cats made those suckas.
The reserve is $15, so just click here.
Monday, June 14, 2010
the boy is good.
there's a whole raft of videos that feature this 'fat Iraqi kid', and I think the general gist of it is that he dances for the American soldiers and they give him candy.
he's a unit, and he's a genius.
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
You only have to look at the list of successful bands that have been brought through the ‘rockquest system’ currently in the NZ Music scene. Check it out: Evermore, Die!Die!Die!, the Datsuns, Brooke Fraser, Anika Moa, Cut off your Hands, Flight of the Conchords, The Electric Confectionaires, Elemeno P, So So Modern, Midnight Youth, Bang!Bang!Eche! Steriogram, Lady Hawke, Minuit, Fat Freddys Drop, Aaradhna, Atlas, The Feelers, The Blackseeds, Nesian Mystic, Bic Runga, The Have, Fur Patrol, Liam Finn, Pine, King Kapisi, and The Checks. Impressive.
So yeah, the 2010 programme has kicked off and if you want a piece just click fru to their site here: http://www.smokefreerockquest.co.nz/ or check out the dates listed below.
AUCKLAND CENTRAL Final - Sat 22nd May
AUCKLAND EAST Final - Sat 19th June
AUCKLAND WEST Final - Fri 28th May
BAY OF PLENTY Final - Fri 25th June
CANTERBURY Finals - Fri 11th June & Sat 12th June
CENTRAL OTAGO (WANAKA/QUEENSTOWN) Final - Sat 24th July
EAST COAST Final - Sat 19th June
HAWKES BAY Final - Sat 29th May
MANAWATU Final - Sat 12th June
MANUKAU Final - Fri 11th June
NELSON/MARLBOROUGH Final - Sat 26th June
NORTHLAND Final - Fri 2nd July
NORTH SHORE Final - Fri 4th June
OTAGO Final - Sat 29th May
ROTORUA Final - Sat 26th June
SOUTHLAND Final - Fri 28th May
TARANAKI Final - Sat 26th June
TIMARU Final - Sat 19th June
WANGANUI Final - Fri 25th June
WAIKATO Final - Sat 12th June
WAIRARAPA Final - Sat 24th July
WELLINGTON inc. HUTT Final - Fri 2nd July
WEST COAST Final - Fri 18th June
OH YEAH - and BUY the tees here.
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
Everyone at Mr Vintage, well the guys here at least, have all been big wrestling fans at one point or another and we were just delighted to see old DDP still looking in tip-top shape. I love the Diamond Cutter.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Running down the street,
Pushing people off their feet,
Throwing your hands up in the air,
Thinking “do i have the correct fare?”
The bus driver begins to shut the door,
But it ain’t suppose to leave till four,
He don’t care about that though,
He gotta get home to work on his mo.
You bang on the door pleading to be let in,
You even offer to buy him a bottle of Gin,
But he drives off and cackles to himself,
And you can’t help but think,
“I wanna punch him in the mouth”.
Friday, May 21, 2010
With her voice resembling that of Stevie Nicks it’s easy to see why her music is so popular. Influenced by The Carpenters, Fleetwood Mac, The Beatles and Joni Mitchell has resulted in an eccentric and talented young artist worth hearing.
Charles O’Malley Martin
Alright alright, I know this guy, but he's good, so check him out and hear it for yourself.
New Zealand’s own Hanan Townshend is one talented cat. Hailing from Wellington, Hanan has an unbelievably knack at pulling the listener in with his sweet folk sound. If you like artists such as The Shins and Arcade Fire, then Hanan’s music is where's it's at.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
I'm off to Thailand for 2 weeks, so I'm leaving you in the hands of Fran. She's way better than me anyway, and she likes the Internet way more than me as well. And her eyebrows are better than mine too. look at those things.
Upon arrival, the birthday girl had had more than her fair share of vodka cruisers, and really, thank god because nothing would of prepared her for what was coming next.
She was instructed to sit on a seat while we formed a semi circle around her and was told that we were going to start a drinking game...but instead was presented with Raven, a 5'8 "stud muffin" with an awe inspiring goatie and Jersey shore abs. Raven wasn't what I imagined male stripper to look like (apart from the firefighter getup), but hey, maybe he's just really good at stripping? Well let me tell you now, the answer to that is no.
Like all good strippers, he started with a classic, the Day Bow Bow song by yello. Flinging his axe around, we expected some fireman jokes about it being "hot in here" and "being on fire", but no, our mysterious man instead started grinding on everything in sight and it was about now that I realised he was more of an exhibitionist than a stripper.
55 seconds later he was down to just a man thong. Yum.
He made his way over to his briefcase (An essential for all firemen) and I wondered, "What's in the briefcase? A extinguisher? A hose?" No. A silk wrap around. Because, as we all know, nothing gets girls going more than bare man flesh in silk. Seductively replacing his thong with his wrap around, he preceded to then make his way around the room showing girls his bits and flinging it in their face. A dream come true for all.
Once he had successfully disturbed everyone in the room, he thanked us and awkwardly started collecting his various bits of clothing from the floor...most of us sat there trying to come to terms by what we had just encountered. But the worst was yet to come...
After he had left in his strip-mobile I noticed he had left a little something other than his dignity behind...his white man thong...and upon closer inspection...a delightful little skiddy in the thong...mmmm, it's now a treasured souvenir belonging to the birthday girl.
There is a moral to this story...a man with only hair on his head and chin never makes for a good birthday present. Ever. You've been warned.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
This morning at around 9.35am (Sandard GMT +12) we welcomed www.parinto.com in to the world. It’s a healthy, functional website, full of t-shirt designs ready to be shipped to your doorstep. We’ve been trying for a while now; but it’s always a pretty tough road building a website, and we’ve kept it on the down low to avoid any potential disappointments, but it’s finally here.
Baby analogies aside, we’re really happy to be announcing the launch of Parinto, and we’d love for all of you to check it out if you’ve got a spare couple of minutes over your lunch break. I can personally guarantee it’ll be more interesting than anything on facebook or twitter today - unless the Parinto news is on facebook or twitter I guess. LINK.
It’s an idea we’ve had for a while; we’ve always wanted to do something that was a little different to Mr Vintage – branching away from the Kiwiana designs – something a little more art-focused. We wanted to create an Internationally accessible brand, work with Internationally acclaimed artists, and create a community for creative’s to contribute and share their passions.
It wasn’t till we met Auckland based designer Stephen Richardson that we realised we could work together; combining our resources, marketing, experience, creativity, and most importantly vision, to create a site that would not only act as an online store, but a creative hub for our favourite International artists, designers, illustrators, and photographers to showcase their latest works.
Fronting the Parinto brand will be Stephen Richardson, you may’ve heard of his label; Richard…son. Richard…son won Metro Magazine’s “Best t-shirt” award in 2007, so he’s kind of a big deal in his own right. He’s a well-travelled dude, and as well as featuring his own designs, he’s handpicked a roster of his favourite designers, illustrators, photographers, and artists to design t-shirts for Parinto. These include Tank Girl comic book legends Alan Martin and Rufus Dayglo, fine artist Max Gimblett, Madrid based illustrator Blanca Gómez, original Memphis Design member Nathalie Du Pasquier, the Cut Collective, and fashion stylist and blogger Adam Bryce amongst others.
You should sign up to the newsletter as well, that’d be a real smart move on your behalf; I tell thee. www.parinto.com Make sure you drop by, there’s a lot more to do than just shop; with a section devoted to keeping you up to date with the contributors involved, read interviews with them, learn about their latest exhibitions, as well as exclusive opportunities to win original pieces by the artists.
If you've got any press enquiries, please contact firstname.lastname@example.org
Monday, May 03, 2010
Kokako are local. Kokako are organic. Kokako are fair trade.
A big thanks to Mike at Kokako who hooked us up with this delicious Fair Trade Organic Coffee… The dude is a real master of his craft, and if you want the most un-tainted and pure coffee in Auckland, Kokako is the only place to go. They’re literally Auckland’s only dedicated Fair Trade Coffee Roaster. Fresh.
They’ve got a wicked little café in Parnell too (492 Parnell road – just by the Mobil near the top), and if you’re the type that’s really picky about your coffee - this is definitely the place to go and enjoy a quiet cup.
And check out Kokako www.kokako.co.nz they’re switched on as.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Anyway, Mel ordered her Fillet-O-Fish meal, but asked for her burger without the cheese – she hates cheese - can’t have it. Strange, I know, but the girl doesn’t like cheese so we’ll leave that discussion for another day. She’s done this at least 5 times in the last few months, at the same Grey Lynn McDicks, so you can understand her surprise when the little Indian man serving her hesitated and stated he’d have to go check with someone else back there.
Her more experienced team member – we’ll call him More Experienced team member – confirmed it; she couldn’t have the burger without the cheese. Mel wasn’t happy, and used the excuse that she was in fact allergic to the cheese and this is why she couldn’t have it in there. More experienced team member jaunted out back once more and got the heavy artillery – The Manager. The Manager listen to the situation, still no dice. You can’t have the burger without the cheese. Mel reasoned that she would take the cheese of herself, but they melt it on to the pattie and she hadn’t the energy to begin the difficult task of peeling every inch of melted cheese off her processed fish pattie. Still no.
Why couldn’t she have the cheese? Their reason: “any additions or deletions change the overall points value of the meal and the meal is no longer a Weight Watchers Approved Meal”. Give a shit. Take the cheese out, put it on the side… who cares. It’s not a weight-watchers approved meal, Mel don’t care. Besides the fact that taking out the cheese actually makes it MORE of a WeightWatchers approved meal, surely some common sense is in order here. Use your brain silly Mr Manager at the Great North road McDonalds. Really.
When a fuming Mel eventually came back to work clutching a delicious Kumara fritter purchased from the Fish n Chippery and recalled the whole sordid affair, I couldn’t help but think of a scene from Donnie Brasco. You might know the scene. Donnie, Sonny Black and the boys go in to the Japanese restaurant and have an altercation over the shoes, Donnie can’t take them off because of the wire he has in his shoes. The little Japanese restaurateur insists "Afraid is impossible, Japanese tradition". Long story short, they kick the shit out of the restaurateur. The context is completely different I know, and call me sadistic, but I can’t help wonder what Sonny Black and the boys would do if they were with Mel at McDonalds on this fateful afternoon. I bet they’d have got the Fillet-O-Fish without the cheese.
IT DIDN’T END THERE THOUGH.
IT appears that after an exchange of emails the situation is still the same. You can’t take the cheese out of the burger. For shit’s sake. The lunacy runs through the entire McDonalds corporation. Check out the email correspondence:
Hello there, For lunch today, I went to order the meal I usually get at McDonalds - the Weight Watchers Filet-o-fish meal. As per usual, I asked for no cheese in my burger. I was then told that I couldn't do that (yet I have done it every week for the last four weeks). The manager asked the store manager about it, who continued to inform me that it was to do with the points system that Weight Watchers use - any changes to the burgers alter the points. I understand this, but surely taking away cheese would result in less points, and therefore a healthier burger, right? Usually if it's an issue then I would take the cheese out myself, but since it is melted onto the fish patty I cannot do this. Being allergic to cheese, I couldn't purchase the meal. I would very much appreciate an explanation to this, as it just seems ridiculous. Regards, Melanie
Dear Melanie Thank you for your email. McDonald's New Zealand is committed to providing our customers with excellent and consistent customer experiences and we were disappointed to hear of your recent experience at McDonald's Grey Lynn, As you are aware, we have launched three Weight Watchers Approved Meals to our menu in New Zealand. Each of these meals has a Weight Watchers points value of 61⁄2. We understand your frustration at not being able to remove the cheese in your Filet o' Fish Weight Watchers Approved Meal, and we agree that at the outset, this does seem such a small change. However, any additions or deletions change the overall points value of the meal and the meal is no longer a Weight Watchers Approved Meal. We are more than happy to meet your menu requirements through our a la carte menu. Customer feedback is important to McDonald's and thank you for taking the time to contact us. Yours sincerely Helen Customer Services
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Vote for him here: http://www.cleo.com.au/bachelor2010-profile-jonathan-field.htm
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
For now though, I'll leave you with this delightful fellow that made me smile when he sent in his victorious picture. He looks bloody stoked. Good work my man.
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
And now I hear that the Feelers are doing a cover of British pop band Jesus Jones' song 'Right Here, Right Now' for the 2011 Rugby World Cup. Yes, I do have something against the feelers. But that’s because they are genuinely shit, once I was eating at this restaurant and the Feelers started playing; I damn near threw up my Greek Moussaka! This song will be drummed in to my head if I follow this World Cup with any real conviction, etched in to my heart. It will be like James Reid getting inside my head and whaling his grating voice until I go crazy, and the worst part is that he’s probably being paid pretty handsomely to do it.
I've gradually accepted that the Feelers have somehow wormed their way in to becoming one of New Zealand Music’s favorite sons, but to such a degree? Last year they were awarded the honor of having NZ’s highest selling album – it was their greatest hits. You’re having a laugh. What sort of country do we live in when a band like the Feelers reign supreme? General opinion of most people I know, and certainly most people on twitter, is that they’re tits.
It all begs the question really, is watching the 2011 Rugby World Cup really going to be worth it? I think not. But perhaps my ramblings are in fact misguided, it seems NZ love the Feelers. Am I just being unpatriotic? Maybe I should just stay quiet and agree to disagree.
I’ve just now noticed that it’s been confirmed. http://bit.ly/9Vb42o Read it and weep boys.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Here’s the email we got:
Enquiry Date: 2010-03-28 22:11
Hiya, I see the marmite and chips print is the retired prints page. I was just wondering tho, I want to get a tattoo of it but can't copy and save the picture in full so any chance I can get a copy off you guys? :)