Friday, May 14, 2010

male strippers are nasty

Last night I attended a friend of a friend's birthday party out West. Now I don't know how they do it out West...but apparently male strippers are considered totally legit as presents.

Upon arrival, the birthday girl had had more than her fair share of vodka cruisers, and really, thank god because nothing would of prepared her for what was coming next.

She was instructed to sit on a seat while we formed a semi circle around her and was told that we were going to start a drinking game...but instead was presented with Raven, a 5'8 "stud muffin" with an awe inspiring goatie and Jersey shore abs. Raven wasn't what I imagined male stripper to look like (apart from the firefighter getup), but hey, maybe he's just really good at stripping? Well let me tell you now, the answer to that is no.

Like all good strippers, he started with a classic, the Day Bow Bow song by yello. Flinging his axe around, we expected some fireman jokes about it being "hot in here" and "being on fire", but no, our mysterious man instead started grinding on everything in sight and it was about now that I realised he was more of an exhibitionist than a stripper.

55 seconds later he was down to just a man thong. Yum.

He made his way over to his briefcase (An essential for all firemen) and I wondered, "What's in the briefcase? A extinguisher? A hose?" No. A silk wrap around. Because, as we all know, nothing gets girls going more than bare man flesh in silk. Seductively replacing his thong with his wrap around, he preceded to then make his way around the room showing girls his bits and flinging it in their face. A dream come true for all.

Once he had successfully disturbed everyone in the room, he thanked us and awkwardly started collecting his various bits of clothing from the floor...most of us sat there trying to come to terms by what we had just encountered. But the worst was yet to come...

After he had left in his strip-mobile I noticed he had left a little something other than his dignity behind...his white man thong...and upon closer inspection...a delightful little skiddy in the thong...mmmm, it's now a treasured souvenir belonging to the birthday girl.

There is a moral to this story...a man with only hair on his head and chin never makes for a good birthday present. Ever. You've been warned.

43 comments:

Jennifer JC said...

Yikes, so awesome!!

Hannah said...

Ew this must be him http://www.coverboys.co.nz/Male_Strippers_Raven_CoverBoys.html

Anonymous said...

Oh god YUCK!

Anonymous said...

Oh Dear. That is not good. There is pretty much only one male stripper in Auckland...

Anonymous said...

Bahaha that is excellent!!! thanks for this. you made our day

Anonymous said...

lmao saw a video of this on f.b

Anonymous said...

Haha, that is so funny.
We had this guy at my sisters hens night
www.levionline.co.nz
I've seen my fair share of strippers both here and the UK and he is by far the best.
He doesnt take it all off and his fireman strip was hot!
Maybe sell the thong on trademe? ;)

Helena said...

For Future Reference: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=lf#!/levi.online

Where's the video!!! I want to see!

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