He's back

Our mate Rick Giles has issued a response. Perhaps a regular spot on Sunrise is in order. The Anti-Ollie: Rick Giles.

Check it out boys

This is what happens when you put NZ's most entertaining man on National TV. He should have been on The Apprentice NZ.

The Rugby World Cup

There are a few rumors circulating today concerning the official song for the 2011 Rugby World Cup. http://bit.ly/93sMA5 Please God, I hope it’s not true.

I’m not the biggest rugby fan in the world anymore, these days my involvement barely extends to processing the score of the latest Blues game rather than looking out for it. I’ll watch the All Blacks, but I can’t really remember the last time I enjoyed an All Blacks game. The game’s digressed; it’s not entertaining, going to games is even worse – the atmosphere is like shagging a dead horse. Lifeless.

smug bastards.

But when it comes to a World Cup, I’ll certainly tune in. It’s the whole feeling about it; opening ceremonies, sudden death, group stages, newspaper schedule pull-outs, and of course, the theme music for the event. One aspect of music that’s really cool is the way it attaches itself to memories. One time I went on a road trip to Wellington and only took a few CD’s, now every time I hear Jakob, Goldenhorse, or Grandaddy, I’m instantly taken back to the images of driving round Wellington. It’s neat.

And now I hear that the Feelers are doing a cover of British pop band Jesus Jones' song 'Right Here, Right Now' for the 2011 Rugby World Cup. Yes, I do have something against the feelers. But that’s because they are genuinely shit, once I was eating at this restaurant and the Feelers started playing; I damn near threw up my Greek Moussaka! This song will be drummed in to my head if I follow this World Cup with any real conviction, etched in to my heart. It will be like James Reid getting inside my head and whaling his grating voice until I go crazy, and the worst part is that he’s probably being paid pretty handsomely to do it.

I've gradually accepted that the Feelers have somehow wormed their way in to becoming one of New Zealand Music’s favorite sons, but to such a degree? Last year they were awarded the honor of having NZ’s highest selling album – it was their greatest hits. You’re having a laugh. What sort of country do we live in when a band like the Feelers reign supreme? General opinion of most people I know, and certainly most people on twitter, is that they’re tits.

It all begs the question really, is watching the 2011 Rugby World Cup really going to be worth it? I think not. But perhaps my ramblings are in fact misguided, it seems NZ love the Feelers. Am I just being unpatriotic? Maybe I should just stay quiet and agree to disagree.

I’ve just now noticed that it’s been confirmed. http://bit.ly/9Vb42o Read it and weep boys.

a marmite tattoo

One of the first tasks I like to get in to on a Monday morning is the website enquiries. While it can often be quite a menial task, the enquiry content can range from entertaining to frustrating. Today’s enquiries however brought with it a pleasant little surprise we’ve never had before.

Here’s the email we got:

Subject: Marmite and Chips Print
From: Kaylee
Enquiry Date: 2010-03-28 22:11

Hiya, I see the marmite and chips print is the retired prints page. I was just wondering tho, I want to get a tattoo of it but can't copy and save the picture in full so any chance I can get a copy off you guys? :)
Chur!
Kaylee.

Now, while I see it as a huge compliment to Joe’s talent with a pen and computer, it’s pretty crazy. I mean, seriously, it’s not a bad design (above), but is that what you want to look at when you’re like 70… marmite n chips? I’m kind of hoping that she was drunk, seeing as her email was at 11:11pm on a Saturday night, but who knows. Anyway, here are some tattoos that are pretty shit-house.

Remuera Hard bro.

get some.

it's not gay, it's just shit.

The piece de resistance: a diddle, as it is done, with veins.

Joe Wharehinga is a hipster

Everyone knows someone like this. I do. His name is Joe and he's the designer here at Mr Vintage. He's so indie that when he rides his bicycle, he wears a beanie precariously perched on the top of his head under his helmet.

The Cryptid Factor on bFM

When you put two grown men with an enthusiastic passion for unknown species of animals in the same room, you’re going to get some entertaining conversation. When those two people are Rhys Darby and David Farrier, you’ve got yourself a radio show and that radio show is called the Cryptid Factor.

And when there is a show as good as the Cryptid Factor floating around the airwaves, it’s usually a good idea to make a t-shirt for that show, so that’s just what we’ve done. check out the Official Cryptid Factor t-shirts and singlets.

If you’ve not heard the show on 95.0 bFM, I suggest you tune in on Sundays from 9am-11am. They’re also doing 3 live shows at the comedy festival, want to go?

You can follow them or you can become a fan or you can do both both. I've done both and it's worked out great for me.

Rob Ewan 4 George Lucas 4 Life

Today we did a few t-shirts for the Hutt Valley region. And Rob being the fantasy fanatic he is, insisted on this tidy little design – utilising a nice bit of pun work there too.

But Rob’s fantasy obsession is becoming a bit ridiculous, you see, he’s told me he’s saving up to go to this Star Wars convention type thing over in Europe or something. Apparently it’s called the ‘Star Wars celebration’ and I think they just sit around and talk about how George Lucas is a much cooler guy than Peter Jackson. Google it... if you really want to.

So yeah, Rob’s been saving his up his Sir Edmond’s in an effort to make this cool event, and he says that he’s been having more fun than ever. This weekend he said he had the most fun 48 hours he’s ever had and it only cost 6.99 from Pack n Save. Check out what Rob spent his weekend making... Whatever floats your boat, or err, death star.

I didn't ask Rob what the hole was for because quite frankly I'm scared of the answer.

Baracky Obama

In light of today's historic Health reform bill, I thought it only fair to pay tribute to the great man Barack Obama.

He's all gags. And why not.

St. Patrick's and Social Media

I remember in my youth St. Patrick’s Day was an occasion that I always looked forward to. At one party, we went to a friend’s flat and threw her chairs off her deck; it was awesome. My friend Ben ended up marrying her flatmate as well, crazy. Another St. Patrick’s Day we went to town, not like Pony club with Brooke-Howard-Hyphenate or anything, just to some bars that you don’t need a girl with you or pointy shoes on to get into. At the end of the night we had to pull over on Hillsborough Rd and I helped old mate Will (Bens brother) spew on the side of the road. Ben drove past and waved, which was nice of him.
This year was fun, but in a much different way. We had Social Media Fun. Man, I’m 25 years old this year and for the first time I totally feel 25.

Back to the Social Media fun, we had a whole bunch of St. Paddys tees leftover. We needed to get rid of the tees quickly, as we were finishing at 3pm to go to the pub; I needed to decide what to do for dinner, and we wanted to have a few drinks before we left. We thought we’d get our friends on twitter and facebook to help us out.

We first asked them to bring a potato (preferably waxy) to the shop, in return for a free St. Paddys tee – Good return. Then we asked them to bring down some Guinness, well, any alcohol really – Success. We then asked them to bring down a scoop of hot chips for a t-shirt – Great Success!

In the end we got:
4 Waxy Potatoes
8 bottles of Guinness
12 Cans of Guinness
6 Cans of Steinlager
2 Bottles of Heineken
2 Bottles of Carlsberg
1 Bottle of Wine
1 Bottle of Opal Nera
Two Baileys n Cream shots
AND
1 Scoop of Hot Chips!

RESULT.

After a few drinks we went down to the Dogs Bollix for some loud Irish Music and a few more drinks. I left at about 5pm, without having a drink, with the other guys. I then went home, had some dinner with my lover, went home and was in bed by 9.30pm. I later received a txt that my name was on the door for the ‘Dead Weather’ gig (Jack White’s band) at the Powerstation. But I was already in bed. On St. Patrick’s Day. I’m 24 years old. And washed up.

You've heard of the Backstreet Boy, yeah?

From time to time we come across some really famous people wearing our t-shirts. It’s a delight. Last year we had David Beckham’s kid and Kimberley Crossman from Shortland Street. Yep, I know. But now we’ve got one to trump them all.

Little known singer/performer/really great artist Howie D, of the Backstreet Boys fame, sports his Keep NZ Beautiful t-shirt.

Joe and Sale St Bar n Grill

I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it, but Joe is a big fan of Sale St Bar n Grill, and the other day his mate 'Macca' jumped in one of the little water features outside. Joe said they had been on the booze for hours. I think it's terrible behavior. Joe is a jock who loves Rugby and the Super 14.

Joe said Macca's missus is gonna be ropeable.

Piano Man

Some people on chatroulette.com are really creative. check out this dude:

SNL feat. Julian Casablancas

Everything Julian Casablancas does is cool. period.

Round the Bays

‘Round the Bays’ was on Sunday, and just like previous years we went from Quay St in the City along to the waterfront at St Heliers Bay. Some ran and some walked; either way, it was a joyous occasion for all, and the BBQ after really topped it off. Check the team. RUN AK!

Rob ran in his Prada glasses. #fag.

Being the masters of Marketing and all, we really kicked ass in that our t-shirt didn't even have our logo or any branding on it. Victory.

Team Vintage. We run this shit.

NZ Autumn Gift Fair

From Sunday through Wednesday (7th – 9th) we were at the Autumn NZ Gift Fair. It was pretty good value, met a few good store-owners and the like. As always with these types of events, we spend a good portion of the time watching people, judging them. Just a little bit, but I’m not going to lie about it – it’s what we do. That and draw naughty pictures of the people we see.

So while we were there – looking, judging, and drawing – Rob decided to dabble in a little bit of rap, as he likes to from time to time. While I can’t show you the pictures we drew (NSFW), I can post the rap. Here goes.

Gift fair – Where we stare. by Rob Ewan

Just been at the Gift Fair selling tees,
Amongst other NZ stuff that was all pretty cheese

Saw heaps of Mums with dyed hair,
Their beads and bracelets made us stare

We were opposite a lady selling disco balls,
Like a $2 store in one of those crappy malls

Women pass with their blonde hair and dyed red fringes,
What’s up with that - can’t they see everyone’s cringes?

Oh well it’s time to pack up and leave
Shout out to my Dad who got a job today, his name's Steve

I tried finding a picture of the type of clientele there, but it seems searching "Mum hairdos with highlights and necklaces and bangles" does not yeild the desired image results. So instead, here's Rapper Rob.

bad ass.

check that shit out

Crazy horses

Taika Waititi is pure genius. spend some time enjoying this promo for his new movie, Boy.
http://crazyhorses.co.nz/
http://boythemovie.co.nz/

Parachute FAIL

That's a shame that is.

Chat Roulette: For Wankers

Chat Roulette: The new phenomenon sweeping the Internet. It’s one of those things that first came to my attention through old mate Twitter. I just figured it was another tech-savvy fad like Google Wave; Interesting, possibly even helpful, but I’d probably never use it.

Then Joe came to work with the revelation that his mate Max had used Chat Roulette and talked to Jessica Alba. Jessica Alba. I want to talk to Jessica Alba. Apparently he got a screenshot too, so it’s legit.

The following day, Joe came in and recalled last night’s adventures on chatroulette.com. He didn’t talk to Jessica Alba. Nothing of the sort, no sir, nothing like Jessica Alba. What he saw was far more disgusting. I was alarmed – grown men go on chat roulette with the sole purpose of wanking their dicks in to a camera. I suppose they do so in the faint hope of finding a sexy lady to look at, but there’s every chance that they don’t really mind what they find. Exhibitionists of sorts I guess.

Why then did I feel the need to go home and sell the idea to my flat mate? We jumped on; maybe I wanted to see if people were that sick. Maybe I wanted to see Jessica Alba. I think part of me knew what I was going to find - deviants playing with themselves. But I did it anyway, and most people I’ve talked to lately have also taken part.

What I got was a whole lot of nothing – it seems that the sight of two young dudes sitting in a room instantly forced people to click the ‘next’ button. Demoralised, we quickly recruited Tim – my other flat mate – and his girlfriend Nicki. Nicki was the bait and it worked a treat. We were meeting people left right and centre. She had enough though and we had to wait until my lady friend Sian came over till we were back in business.

Sian knew what was going on, and while initially hesitant, we peer pressured her in to sticking with it. After a while she got over the nerves and started having a little bit of fun. Until the inevitable happened, we saw a man pleasuring himself. She squealed and ran off. Ben and I laughed lots. That was it. We got to see what we were there to see. I think. I dunno.

At least some people are a little creative, Joe saw one guy holding up a stick figure drawing but his penis was poking out. That’s legit. And so is this video.

Doing Bombs

This little Maori kid is awesome. He just loves doing bombs. When I think of what Joe was like when he was little, I like to imagine he was just like this kid.

Kiwis are quite smart

I've had a fascination for all things hovering for a long time now. I think it was after I saw Back to the Future and the wicked-sweet hover board he rides. Now, this is no hover board, but it's pretty rad. iWant.

Tait is slightly lame

I expected better from an Australian.

After bowling 4 for 40 runs, never-mind completely choking in the ‘one-over eliminator’ after the match was tied – all Shaun Tait could muster as a response was to pull the fingers at McCullum. You lose Shaun Tate. You lose.

yum (NSFW)

The other week my flatmate Tim Youngson was in a motorbike accident in which he broke his leg rather badly. His bone fell out and now he has a steel rod in there. Terminator. He's recovering well, and seems in high spirits - morphine helps. Here’s some pictures.

He's so rock n roll old Uncle Tim.

That’s a Grammy nominated bone right there.

Tsunami Warning: Natural Selection

There was a Tsunami warning so these people at Breaker Bay decided to get their dicks and tits out. real smart move.

Over the weekend there was a Tsunami warning. Some refused to heed the warning, and while there has been little sign of the supposed Tsunami that doesn’t mean you head down to the beach at the height of the warning and flail about tempting fate.

One of these days the Tsunami warning will come to fruition, and while it may sound a little harsh; those dumb enough to continue with their plans for a nude photo shoot on the beach will be eliminated from the human race. Call it natural selection, only those stupid enough to blatantly ignore any sort of Tsunami warning deserve to go.

Hilary Diff is now dead to me.

I'm going to be honest. I was pretty gutted to hear that my youthful fantasy Hilary Duff is now engaged. Especially seeing the muppet she’s engaged to. He looks like a twat.

Team Tiger

Onetangi Fish n Chips. Shit house.

On Saturday I went to Waiheke Island for the day. Waiheke’s a wonderful place when the sun is shining; the air crisp, the birds in-tune, the derelicts placid, the water cool and the fruit sweet.

I was understandably delighted to be spending the day there. As I hopped off the ferry, I had enough time to have a quick disagreement with my special lady friend – good enough that the walk to Onetangi was completely silent and really fast. We made great time, which I love.

Whilst there, we obviously required a delicious meal to satisfy the growing hunger. Fish n Chips made sense. So too did the Onetangi Fish n Chips shop. Much like the feeling you get waking up after a big night on the New Zealand Lager, I immediately regretted my decision.

The prices listed on their menu were a dead giveaway. So too was the sign that read, “Expect to wait a while”. I chuckled and thought (well, hoped really), what great branding – these folk seem really light hearted and funny. Minutes later while still waiting I started to think they weren’t just following the ‘under-promise, over deliver’ management tag line my uni lecturer Mr Barlow had drilled in to me in 1st year. They really were that shit.

One of the chefs then noticed us waiting patiently and called to the waitress to pop inside and serve us. Approaching in a flurry of hand drying, the tubby employee approached and looked at us expectantly, without saying a single word. As we ordered, her expression barely changed, her eye contact was non-existent and I watched as she scratched her crotch for an extended period of time. As a reflex I diverted my eyes elsewhere where I stumbled across more of their tasteful branding – a sign that read, “be nice or leave”. This time I let out a cheeky little lol.

Upon receiving our food, we were astonished to find that our ‘scoop’ of chips was closer to a child’s handful, the spicy calamari consisted of two tubes, and the hot-dog on a stick was actually on a stick and not a tooth-pick.

Next time you go to Waiheke, take a picnic, unless you want to be served fish and chips by Lucifer.

If you want real Fish n Chips go to ‘Bonzo Burgers Bar’ on Mt Eden Rd. Bonzo is a great guy.

Mr Bonzo will give you a generous scoop of chips that for damn-tooting.

Gizzy. a round of applause.

Some interesting news came to light today. Gisborne is the newly crowned ‘Clap Capital’ of the North Island. Which is great.

I think previously Hamilton had held the title, but they’ve now been defeated. Word has it a large number of New Years revelers had an impact in these telling statistics. I’m not pointing my finger at Hayden.

Our designer Joe is from Gisborne, and while he’s not too happy with the new title, he is thinking about a new t-shirt design. I have a feeling he will no longer be welcome in his family home.Gizzy.

Joe. Gazing off in to the fields of Clap.

Joe's favourite rapper is Jay-Z

99 Problems.

Lost

The Double Pounder. and a pounder too.

Hayden came in to work today with a great drunken tale. He does this a lot. Youths.

Him and his white mates purchased a few bottles of wine and drove them in to their guts. Drunk. Then, as it is done, they visited McDonalds. That’s when Hayden decided he wanted to see one of his friends eat a ‘Pounder’ (comprised of 4 quarter patties w/ cheese in-between each).

His tall mate Ollie was up for it, so Hayden obliged and set him on his way. Ollie can’t say no. But that’s another yuck story.

He finished with ease, the only evidence being a slight sheen to his face. Meat sweats.

So Hayden got him a Double Pounder. 8 patties. 8 slices of cheese. $27 Large.

The McDonalds manager was so stoked - he had never seen this feat achieved before - he was taking photos and even arranged for a bin to be positioned beside Ollie so he could put his meaty/winey guts in there.

Glad I'm vegetarian.

Ollie got there in the end. Somehow. And then he took advantage of the managers generosity and put the contents of his insides in to that bin. Patrons watched on; some cried, some complained, and some applauded the act. All were amazed.

Thanks Hayden. And Ollie too.

lil bit

Alison Mau.

Cupcakes beat flowers any day. Especially VALENTINES DAY.

The other day the people at DelishCupcakes.co.nz sent us some of their cupcakes and we ate them all up very quickly.

So we got to thinking. Valentines Day... LIGHT BULB.

Wheels motioned.

Come in to the MR VINTAGE STORE this Friday, Saturday or Sunday (12th, 13th, or 14th), spend over $50 and we’ll give you a FREE DELISH CUPCAKE. OR come down and just buy them for $5.

These aren’t just ordinary cupcakes. They’re handmade with LOVE, and a custom little Mr Vintage Valentines design is on top. They come individually boxed, sealed with a sticker – ready for you to give to the one you LOVE.

There are 3 flavours; strawberry n vanilla, dark choc with white, and red n white choc. BUT it doesn’t really matter; they’re all ridiculously delicious.

They’re a fellow NZ business, and we really dig what they do. Well. What they make. Delicious cupcakes. So give the gift of cupcakes and t-shirts this year.

Mr Vintage and Delish Cupcakes – Taking care of your Valentines Day so you can focus on the kissing/heavy petting.

had to laugh at Andrew Hore.

The Seal Shooter just loves it. and you can tell. it's all over his face.

The t-shirt of the day is now $19.95!

We thought it’d be cool to do a few new things around the place this year. To keep things fresh.

So we did a bit of math. Chewed our pencils. Crunched some numbers. Scratched our heads. Carried a few two’s.

Worked out that we could actually make the t-shirt of the day $19.95.

We all thought it’d be a good idea. So we just went right ahead and did it.

YUS!

NOW the t-shirt of the day is $19.95 THAT’S AWESOME.

Tell all your friends about me. Like Batman.

at just $19.95 even this kid can now cover up.

Doing 'Round the Bays this year'?

Take a load off. We'll take care of your tees.

SERIOUS X......lol.....sometimes

I had a dream where a hamburger ATE ME!

Introducing Mighty Joe Wharehinga.

Dreamboat. Mel said he has "nice arms"

shame bro

Hayden is back!

The start of the month brought with it an exciting little treat in the form of the returning Hayden.

Now, traditionally, when Hayden arrives back from a spell out, he comes equipped with some of the most exciting, unbelievable and entertaining stories. This time round, not so much. He did have one tale about getting strip searched for drugs at some summer youth event, but that was about it.

I’m sure you’re disappointed too, so I thought I’d post this lovely pic I got from his bebo page.

"I'd be a sexy chick..."

LONG WEEKEND

It's a long weekend on account of Auckland Anniversary Weekend. so we're all going away, which means we won't be back till Tuesday. BUT, just to keep you happy we're offering FREE NATIONAL SHIPPING over the long weekend. enjoy. HAPPY - just like the guys below.

this kid is awesome

I want that one.

take a closer look

Francesca sent me this neat little auction. Check it out.

Girls are yuck.

I'd def hang with this guy.

Corporal Willie Apiata, VC

There’s been a huge furore over those photos published of Corporal Willie Apiata, VC, in Afghanistan. I just want to say one thing. He looks so freaking awesome, even my dear old Mum said, “He looks really tough and cool”.

Joe is considering enlisting after seeing the picture, on the flip side, I feel like way less of a man having seen that picture. It’s a similar feeling I get after watching Man vs. Wild. Bear Grylls is the man, and a far better man than I.

I also see that Millie Holmes/Elder has been arrested again.

That's a piece of poo with decorations on it Millie. from a distance it may look like chocolate or something good and nice, but I assure you it's not. it adds a little bit more to society than you do.

International Week

Being from New Zealand is cool. But it’s cool being from other countries too. And seeing as though it’s errr, International ‘International Week’ (we've invented this event), we thought it’d be a whiz-bang idea to do some internationally inspired t-shirts.

You should have seen Joes face when we told him to design some non-Kiwiana t-shirts – confusion clouded his squinty little eyes and he seemed utterly bemused but decided to have a crack – the first draft he eventually came back with was a NZ map. “no no Joe, non NZ themed t-shirts” we said. So we gave him a few ideas, and we’re pretty happy with what we’ve come up with.

Oh, and a big thanks to Robs mates, who call themselves the 'All Drunks' - they actually came up with the concept and a few of the ideas for International Week. No doubt they were chopping back a few beers, as they do, while inspiration struck. Cheers boys.

We're starting today, so drink it in.

Here's our first effort. China. It Woks.

Whakapapa your Mum did.

On Friday the majority of us went to the big day out. Good things too, cos apparently we angered the Maori Language Commission people over the 'Whakapapa – you Mum did' t-shirt. Joe designed it, and he’s Maori.

Haydens Nips - causing quite the stir.

But seriously, it’s just a cheeky little pun and everyone loves a good pun. Before we released it we asked everyone on facebook about the design, and the feedback was well positive – and to be fair we’ve only received two complaints since the story was covered.

It's Cool To Kōrero. Oh yeah, and we asked our fans on facebook if they found the t-shirt offensive and this one lady hit us with this. I found it funny. what a crazy chick - I reckon she'd be no fun to hang out with.


Q: Hey guys. Do you think our Whakapapa tee is culturally insensitive?


A: No. I believe your gross commitment to Colonizing bastardization of Indigenous Language and Cultural heritage is though. As a Kuia and a Mother of Kohanga reo and Kura Kaupapa Maori tamariki I find your embicilic self serving racist ignorance enhancing passive aggressive Ostrich with butt in the air theft, rape, pillage and plunder approach ...all too sad and predictable for European exiles.

You are a credit to Colonial Schooling ...it not only failed the Indigenous peoples it succeeded in transmitting massified ignorance of which YOU are a classic example Mr V.

Your willingness to slam anyone who challenges your right to steal, pillage and plunder Indigenous Intellectual and Cultural property while you trivialize, hypersexualize and shaft it's Sacred lineage perfectly sums you up. YOU do not own this language. YOU do not walk in respect with this culture. YOU are an outsider making insider claims for which YOU do not have any Tribalz permission. YOU are a classic Colonizing racist ignoramus ...do not pull the ...oh I'm just kidding and its only a bit a fun rubbish here ...I have to raise children in the aftermath of your stupidity for the cheap and nasty thrill of your cash register ego arrogance. YOU do not simply impact a language ...YOU impact a whole Web of Existence for which YOU take no responsibility.

I also have European Ancestors. So don't pull that bull on me that this is acceptable to all Europeans either. It is irresponsible, blatantly commercial gangsta prostitution of Indigenous Peoples heritage ...for a buck. Well done to your Christopher Columbus curse.

Anyway, check out some of the articles if you want to.

YouTube video
TVNZ story
newstalkZB even got amongst it.

lolski

My cat's breath smells like cat food.