some bastards stole our shit.

This morning I pulled in to work and noticed Rob was outside on the phone. As I smiled gleefully, I observed that he was deep in conversation and had a facial expression resembling a frown. I thought to myself that this may have been because he got a little too steamed at Mardi Gras over the weekend and he still had an upset stomach. Turns out it wasn’t.

We got ROBBED. It seems some people don’t care too much for paying for their computers, so they stole our 3 Macs as well as the till. At least they were smart enough to know that’s where the money’s kept. They weren’t smart enough to steal the mouse and the keyboard of one of the computers though! Mwah ha ha ha. We had the last laugh as it turns out.

Maybe it was the Hamburgler. Look at his cheecky little grin.

But seriously, it really sucks that they took the computers. We lost about a months’ worth of designs, and Joe works real hard on those designs, so it’s not very nice for Joe. And then we have to fill out a bunch of these insurance forms and stuff, which sucks – no one likes filling out forms.

We had to sit around for a while and wait for the cops to come and check out the crime scene for fingerprints and whatnot. When they did arrive, I was a tad dissapointed to say the least. I was expecting a CSI-like team to stroll in and take control of the situation. You know, a Gil Grissom or maybe a sunglass-clad Horacio popping in with his stylish suit and sharp brain. Instead we got a couple of balding, middle aged burly men in some kind of blue police jumpsuits. They came in, dusted down a few things, asked a few questions, jotted a few things down in their note pads and left. We probably won’t hear from them again.

Because we lost a whole lot of our designs we’ll have to cancel the ‘t-shirt of the day’ specials for the rest of this week, so you can blame those cowardly thieves for that one. We also had a pretty sweet promotion planned for Tuesday and Wednesday of this week that we’ll have to delay.

So here’s the deal, we’re so scared about more of our stuff being stolen that we’re going to give a whole bunch of it away – so no-one will ever break in to our store again. Next week we’re going to give away over 150 prizes, and one MASSIVE amazingly awesome prize. Not even typing massive in capitals does it justice. So stay tuned to the Mr Vintage blog, our Facebook page, or our Twitter account for more details.

Detention Worthy?

Yes.

1. Firstly, I have great respect for any kid who has the gumption to stand up in front of his peers, rip open his shirt and declare that he is Superman.
2. The fact that he had the Superman t-shirt under his school shirt tells me the act was pre-planned. That means he woke up on the morning of 31st of May, 2006 and decided he was going to reveal his true identity to his class mates. That means he’s awesome.
3. There should never have been any ‘character points’ deducted for this announcement. Truth be told, he should have been awarded an extra 20 ‘character points’ for such a bold statement of awesomeness.
4. I hope he got some seriously hot lady friends after this. If there wasn’t a line of girls waiting to kiss him and become his Lois Lane, the Girls at his school are useless.

t-shirt Design Submission of the week:

Sometimes we get ones that are ready to go straight to print: A play on 'The Lion, the Witch, & the Wardrobe' I believe, this one was inspired by Dave Chapman's heart-warming story.

I'd hire this guy.

NZ Football draw 0-0 with Iraq

Looking at our coach, you'd have thought we just won, right? Wrong.

This guy must have a girlfriend that isn't very good at cleaning...

The A-list.co.nz:

We've been coming to the same party for ten years... and in no way is that depressing.

t-shirt Design Submission of the week:

After we did the ‘Scary Washing Machine’ dinosaur t-shirts I think people thought we specialised in animal t-shirts or something, cos we ended up getting quite a few ‘design submissions’ like these two little guys.... I especially love that the dude who designed the singlet has been holding on to it since 2006 and felt it was now time to unleash it upon NZ. Believe it or not, these too were actually designed by different people. Grown-ups too.

Design Submissions. We haven't had a bad one yet.

Scary Washing Machine

So by now you all well and truly know about the whole ‘Scary Washing Machine’ thing. Who’d have thought a dude could create such hype by selling a humble washing machine? Not complaining though, it’s kept a lot of people entertained throughout the last week or so. And it’s kept us all well busy at work.

It was pretty easy to sort out really; once we had figured out that we actually knew the guy who started it all (Mike), we got on to it pretty quickly and made the tees. But full credit to Mike, he’ll end up giving a crap-load of money to a variety of charities through auctioning off his dinosaur illustrations and our t-shirts. That’s probably the coolest thing; he could’ve easily pocketed a whole lot of money from this – but he’s decided to donate proceeds to charities. What a guy. Pity he’s married.

I'm back.

Sorry about the lack of text-based blogs lately, I’ve been in South America, and upon my return there was the whole ‘Scary Washing Machine’ saga that pretty much dominated proceedings over the last week or so, but more on that later. Coming back to NZ was pretty sweet, but I did notice a few things; that little baby-faced dude Richard Hammond from Top Gear has invaded my TV screen, magazine covers and a whole bunch of advertising billboards... Melissa Lee made it her absolute priority to do everything in her power to make herself look like a fool... Lance Hohaia is a tremendous player and should be starting... and it’s rather cold in NZ, well, colder than South America.

Perhaps National would have been better served letting a Mince & Cheese pie run for Mt Albert. Which would you choose?

Clever Cookie

Today I got an email that really makes me wonder why I send out the newsletter every day. This email was in reply to our email newsletter. Note: I believe onlnie is supposed to be ‘online’.

hi
I never have time to get to your store for the one day specials (or very often anyway). Is there any way I can order onlnie?
Thanks
A####a

The A-List.co.nz:

The A-List: Documenting how 'real Aucklanders' spend their Sunday afternoons. Twats.

Too Soon?

We think not.

Russian Prank Goes Right

Watch Russian Prank Goes RIGHT and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

Three Wolf Moon T-shirt

Taking the internet by storm is this "Three Wolf Moon" tshirt. Check out the full story here.

The Record Warehouse History

Logo Designed by Dick Frizzell

Record and Cassette Warehouse officially established by Michael Dow in October 1977 with the opening of the flagship store in Durham St. The grand opening promotion was the in store signing of local band Hello Sailor to a recording contract.

At the time it was the biggest store in NZ with a floor space of 7000 sq ft and over 50,000 records and cassettes in stock and it was the first record store in NZ to model itself on the Tower Records store in Los Angeles by featuring albums displayed "face" on and displayed in special racks floor to ceiling allowing customers to easily access and select albums

The RW created a strong brand by creative, innovative and aggressive marketing and were the first record retailer to heavily use radio station advertising and promotions often with the record companies to promote the store and specific artists and albums at the time. This effectively raised the bar enormously as far as Record and Cassette retailing in NZ was concerned and set the bench mark for future retail stores.

Back in the day trading hours was 7am to 9pm Monday to Friday !!! The only retail operation to open its doors so early certainly in Queen St as the concept was to capture the market for people who wanted to browse before and after work

The RW then began to open the doors on Saturday, which at that time was against the law in NZ. The only legal retailing allowed by the law at the time was for the ordinary local Dairy to sell selected items over the weekend.RW were fined every weekend by inspectors whose job it was to keep tabs on this illegal practice.

This prompted Michael Dow to crusade for legal Saturday Trading and with help of several other Queen St retailers he formed the Auckland Inner City Progressive Retailers Association. The slogan was "Iam a Saturday Shopper" and badges, T Shirts and other such merchandise were freely distributed to the public as they began to swarm into Queen St on a Saturday to shop in the stores that were openly defying the law at the time. The end result after several months of embarrassing the Government at the time was for the eventual introduction of legal weekend shopping !!!


ICONIC MOMENTS and INTERESTING FACTS

- A number of instore promotions by many artists visiting NZ at the time including;

Kate Bush
Billy Idol
The Police
Eurythmics
Elvis Costello and the Attractions
The Specials
Madness
The Knack

- The Breakfast In America instore promotion for band Supertramp new release. RW provided all day free American Breakfasts and the opportunity to pre buy the album ahead of the official release date by purchasing a voucher for the album at a special discounted price. The album went Gold in NZ before actual release through this event.

- The slogan.... "YOU NEVER NEED TO PAY RETAIL EVER AGAIN"

- The 2 for $20 promotion that featured a selection of 10 different albums every week ....[ then a discounted price at the time for full price albums]

- The RW preferential discount card giving members a 15% discount on everything in the store for LIFE !!!!

- RW also had a Mail Order Dept that aggressively marketed special deals not unlike Richard Branson who started Virgin Records in this manner.

- RW sold more singles than any other record store in NZ at the time.

Get a bit of Ferris

Got a spare US$2,300,000.00 ?

If so you can grab yourself a piece of cinematic history. Check it.

Old L&P ad...

Ask Andy

Dear Andy, "Why do they call Steam Rollers, Steam Rollers? They don't produce, get rid of or have anything to do with steam." Regards, Cam


Cam, you have been blinded by the bright lights of the future my man. Sometime it is necessary to look into the past for our answers, and although I don't have a Delorean I do have the knowledge you seek.

You see before we had all these petrol guzzling contraptions to roll things that we needed rolling, we had rolling machines that were run on, believe it or not, steam. These bad boys had what was called a "steam" engine.

Now many of you young bucks are probably baffled by the thought of a Steam Engine so here is a little info for you. Steam engines (heat engines using boiling water to produce mechanical motion) have a long history, going back at least 2000 years. Early devices were not practical power producers, but more advanced designs producing usable power have become a major source of mechanical power over the last 300 years, enabling the industrial revolution. Amazing?... Yes.

But why do we still call our modern Rollers "Steam Rollers"? We'll Cam, old habits are hard to break, and I should know took me up till high school to stop biting my nails, and don't get me started on pinching that's a habit that I just won't break... ever.

My favourite Steam Engine which in is fact diesel powered is none other than Roley the Steamroller from Bob the Builder.

As always make sure you and most of the people you know are keeping it real like a lemon peel.

New Wing CD up for grabs

We're giving away a copy of Wing's new CD today. Just buy a Wing tee and one lucky winner will have it included in with their order.

If you don't win and still want to check out some of Wing's sweet sounds checkout Wing's website for all the details.

Random Laughs

I like this

I'm the kind of guy who likes to write lists and stuff. If you're like me you should check this site out: nowdothis.com

Simple.

Ask Andy

Dear Andy,

Is that scene in Spider-man 3 where Peter walks out of the clothing shop after becoming slightly emo and does that weird little dance one of the worst things in cinema history ever? Or, is the whole movie just perfectly cheesy?

Katherine


Thanks for the question Katherine,

I didn't have the pleasure of watching Spiderman 3 on the big screen, I couldn't bare to part with 15 of my hard earned dollars just to watch some emo boy pretending to be spiderman, I could have done that for free any night of the week on Queen street and probably got a lot more for my $15 dollars (no homo)

I did however watch it while I was on vacation in Vanuatu, it just so happened that it was the rainy season and although I love swimming in the rain you can only do so much of that.

Anyway I watched the movie and I have to admit I was a little confused; why did Peter Parker turn into Jared Leto, What was Sam Raimi doing... auditioning to direct the next 30 seconds to Mars video clip?

When Peter Parker went into the department store and came out in his Jared Leto suit and did his best John Travolta impersonation Saturday Night Fever style I didnt know what to do, I contemplated finding one of the burly resort gardeners who carry large Machetes and telling him I had done something aweful to his goat, then I though it would be easier to just gauge my eyes out with a tea spoon. As i got up to choose a tea spoon the scene ended and I slumped back onto the couch, with my senses regained.

I have been a Spider Man fan since my mum was still wiping my bum, but now I cant even think about Spidey with out images of that scene and that Jared Leto guy popping into my head (again no homo).

This is without a doubt one of the worst in scenes movie history Katherine, but the Sad thing is is that the scene where Peter Parker takes Gwen on a date to the Bar where Mary-Jane works and does his best Peter Parker in a Jared Leto suit Chicago/ Flash Dace impersonation is worse, much, much, worse.

Keep it real like a lemon peel.

Andy Shackleton
Head Oompa Loompa Trainer

Ask Andy.... questions please

This year we've been meaning to do a blog feature called "Ask Andy".

For those of you who don't know, Andy is guy who makes sure your orders get sent out and emails get replied to. Not only being a very industrious worker, Andy knows a thing or two about a thing or two. A memory like a sponge and a hunger for knowledge he is the man to ask when you have a question.

So if you would like Andy's wisdom send through your questions to andy@mrvintage.co.nz and we will feature the best ones on this blog (and hide your name if you want).

p.s We want funny questions. This aint the Womens Weekly agony aunt.

p.p.s Big thanks to everyone who voted in the Swine Flu poll.

Swine Flu Design

We’re thinking about doing a ‘Swine Flu’ t-shirt (below). But is it too bad taste? Do we print it or not? We want you to tell us. We reckon the design concept is pretty wicked, but we obviously realise it’s a pretty sensitive subject, so we want to ask you for some community input – we really appreciate all the feedback we get from twitter, the website, facebook, and our newsletters – and we really do take it all on board and consider your opinions on such matters. In this case, we’re leaving it entirely up to you... Vote here.

Here’s some stuff that we’ve been considering that you might like to consider also.

There’s a whole raft of Swine Flu/ Bacon jokes and images going around the Internet at the moment. Granted, some of them are pretty crappy and tasteless, but all the same there seems to be a general feeling that the recent ‘Swine Flu’ panic may be in part an over-hyped media creation. Even old Peter Williams from Breakfast cracked a funny about it this week. And Peter’s one of the most inoffensive people around, he’s such a charmer I think you’ll all agree.

As we’ve done with a lot of our other designs, we’d of course donate 10% of each t-shirt sale to a charity – and not to use it as an excuse or justification – it’s just to show that we’re not money-hungry dicks that aim to offend and cause a stir. We’re all lovely boys. Each of our Mothers have said that.

So the ball is in your court, the voting is open for 24 hours only (so send the link to all your friends and enemies) after which time we’ll close voting and make our decision depending on what you’ve told us. If the vast majority of you reckon it’s ok to release the design, we’ll go to print tomorrow, if not, it will all be forgotten and we’ll still have another sweet NZ Music inspired tee for you.

Again, we know it’s a sensitive subject, we know lives have been lost – and in no way do we want to seem insensitive or disrespectful to the families of the deceased or the general public. Which is why we want your help, we appreciate and value your opinions so much that we’re letting you decide if this t-shirt goes to print.

NZ Music Month - Our View

As you may or may not know, we’re doing a ‘Mr Vintage Music Month Series’ in celebration of NZ Music Month. We’ve got a few surprises in there, and I even got to talk to ‘Wing’ today on the phone! She’s a lovely lady with a great grasp of the English language. For those of you that don’t know who I’m talking about, check her out. http://www.wingmusic.co.nz/

All this NZ Music talk got me thinking though, we’ve all got pretty differing music tastes here at Mr Vintage (although Joe and I both delight in celebrating John Mayer’s entire catalogue). So I thought I’d share a little bit about our takes on NZ Music. This may be of no interest to you whatsoever, but you don’t write the blog. I do. So let’s take this one person at a time.

Wing - 'Too much Heaven'. Her best work yet.

Rob – Robs taste in Music is often the subject of ridicule at work. Before you feel sympathy though, he’s a self confessed “not much of a music guy, and more in to digital sounds” guy. His first comment about NZ Music was, “Well, they don’t play much of it at the clubs do they”? Name-drop much? While at Gilmours, he worked with Ty (of Smashproof fame). He attended Papatoetoe High with David Dallas, and he once saw Jordan Luck from ‘The Exponents’ face down drunk in a gutter. But then again, who in Auckland City hasn’t? His favourite album is ‘Once Bitten, Twice Shy’ from the Exponents, and he also has a lot of time for Supergroove, OMC, Recloose, Peter Urlich, and Ladyhawke.

Andy – I’m not really sure I can do Andy justice in less than a page but I’ll give it my best shot. Andy is an enigma. At times I feel like Andy and I are on the same page musically, but mostly I don’t. His first thoughts when I asked him to talk to me about NZ Music. “Shit mate, Real shit”. He did find time however to praise a few NZ artists however. He recalls fondly the time we got to meet the lovely Kirsten from Golden Horse backstage at some lavish Juice TV party, he counts Minuit among the 86 artists currently residing on his iPhone, he’s seen both Scribe and The Feelers live (under duress), and has watched an entire Johnny Love video. Only once though, the remote were broke.

Me (Jay) – I’m probably the most well-balanced music lover here at Mr Vintage. lol. I’m just getting in to using lol, and I like it. Used correctly it’s crack-up bro. Joe and the others will have a laugh that I’m an ‘Indie Kid’, calling me Indie-ray and the like (racist), but that’s rubbish and I think they know that. I like quite a few NZ bands. Here goes; The Mint Chicks, Neil Finn, Motocade, The Veils, Shihad, Goldenhorse, Phoenix Foundation, SJD, Cut off your hands, Midnight Youth, GNN, Kingston, Weta, Evermore, Streetwise Scarlett, and Liam Finn. Often I think I’m too nice to really dislike a band, but then I heard the Feelers and Autozam. The guys give me crap about Evermore, but I love a feel-good tune to lift the spirits (no homo).

Joe – Joe’s brown, and his music tastes tells you this. It’s ok, I’m also a chocolate assassin and I’m allowed to say such things. BP4L (Black Panthers 4 Life!). Nah, just kidding, Joe’s taste is reasonably varied but he does love his gangsta rap. Joe attends a lot of gigs, and his favourite NZ artists are; Brooke Fraser, Gin Wigmore, Janine Foster, David Dallas, Che Fu, Nesian Mystik, Needles & Bees, and Salmonella Bud. Told you he had brown in him. But seriously, Joe has a deep passion for music and I guess you could say he’s one of those “likes anything that’s un-signed” kind of guys. He also loves Kiwi FM. Swears by it. I think an apt description of Joe would be ‘The human Auckland City gig-guide’.

Mel – As the youngest of the Mr Vintage team at 21, I thought Mel would be in to bands like Blindspott and Rubicon. Not so however. Mel greeted the question of “What do you think of NZ Music” very enthusiastically. She doesn’t download Kiwi music at all, frequents gigs rather often, and has a crush on Nathan King from Zed. Must have been after she heard “Glorafilia”. She’s friends with the younger sister of one of the members from Midnight Youth, likes to chill out to Kora, Tiki Tane, Katchafire, Fly my pretties, and Shapeshifter, while also Ladi 6 is her favourite live act in NZ. Her latest CD purchase was the new work from Savage, and she listens to Concord Dawn when she is going to sleep. Trance much?

Twitterific!

We’ve been getting amongst the Twitter a lot more here as well, it’s a pretty snazzy little platform, and I’m finding it really useful. I’ve got a personal one too (@JayGovind), so if you want to follow me that’d be a lovely gesture too. It’s definitely a lot more than the “seeing what people are eating for lunch” information that some foolish people think it is. I’m not going to go in to the benefits too much; you’d have me here all day. What I will say is that we’d love to have you following us on Twitter – make sure you say hi, and we’ll talk (well, tweet). We’ll be giving away tees, running competitions, seeking feedback, and we’re happy to hear any ideas you have as well. You’ll also get some sneak previews of designs and even input in to our designs and promotions. It’s like you’re part of the team. So if you haven’t got a Twitter, get amongst it – it’s real easy to set up and it’s a whole bucket load of fun and laughter.

April Wrap up

It’s almost May already. Crazy. Feels like Christmas was only last month... I’ve noticed that though, as you get older the years go by faster and faster. Depressing really. I can still remember when my biggest concern in life was facing up to the task of the dreaded Social Studies and long division. I still can’t carry out long division to this day. But then the only maths I do is calculating how much I can buy at the Hollywood bakery for $5. Zing.

I guess there’s a little bit of Peter Pan in all of us though, some more so than others. Sometimes when people ask me how old I am, I still reply 20 or 21, it makes me feel like I’ve still got time to achieve all my sporting and professional dreams. Side note: I’d play any sport professionally; Football & Tennis being the top choices due to their combination of money and celebrity (and yes, I will be one of THOSE Dads that pushes their Kids way too much and lives vicariously through their success regardless of their own desires). I wish I could go back to being 17 again to be honest. And it would be even better if I looked like Zac Efron. I’d have so much fun. Someone should really make a movie about that. That’s a creative storyline, with just the right mix of Hollywood accessibility and plausibility. Zac Efron is oh so hot right now.

Zac Efron living the dream - what a talent.

Anyway, seeing as we’re like a full-on fashion company nowadays, we’ve gone all seasonal on you. Let’s call it the ‘Winter 09 line/range/collection/anything that makes us sound more professional and fashionista’. It’s all the same crap in any case; we initially went down a fancier route, calling it the “Hoodie Week”. I think it was Rob who had the idea of doing hoodies in conjunction with Winter. Smart. Cos people get cold in winter, and it’s good to have clothing that keeps you warm. And hoodies do just that. So for all of you have been bombarding our enquiry section of the website with demands for more hooded apparel, you can now go outside safely with your new Mr Vintage hoodie – once you get your hoodies of course.

Gold Coast Adventure

We’ve been in dire need of a holiday for a while; Andy hasn’t seen the sun in so long. He’s really white – it’s just horrible. We didn’t really have too much of a Christmas break. It seems all you crazy fools were taking your mobile cellular phones to the beach and accessing our webpage via the Internet to make purchases whilst tanning it up on your time off. Technology eh? These days it’s all about being connected to the web.

So we took a very belated Xmas break over Easter to head to a place known as the Gold Coast. Not too sure why it’s called the Gold Coast, Joe reckons it’s cos it’s the ‘Land of opportunity, where the streets are paved with Gold’. But what does Joe know – after all, he’s just a designer, and they’re mainly just good at things like drawing and using Mac computers. Designers and Macs..... They think Apple products are the bees’ knees.

It’d be too hard to take you through everything we did, and to be honest, you might think less of us if I did reveal all. Luckily though, young Joe came to the rescue again with his trusty memory catcher. It’s using these captured moments of fun that I’ll be able to take you through a few of the highlights from our trip. It’s my hope that the captions will explain what’s going on in each photo...

Andy looked so good it made Rob feel a little better after his all night Dance Party antics

The beautiful view from the deck. Shown here in a before & after shot. Like the infomercials. We'd go on to enjoy a few drinks on this deck.

We were all just so happy to be there that we'd smile for the camera at any opportunity.

Sweet Irony. One day I'll get to use those funny little things. Untill my faith falters though I'll just go on smiling about it.

.

We didn't get any photos after the first day, but we did go to Dream World and White Water World. Both days were thoroughly enjoyable. Joe and Andy have already made tentative enquiries in to working at White Water World. It's a truly magical place. Joe came on the trip but isn't in any photos seeing as he was always taking them. He didn't trust us to handle his camera.

Hail to the Hail.

Last Thursday was a day like any other Thursday. Tension was high in the office and Joe was ‘Twittering’ away. Actually, it wasn’t really like any other Thursday, seeing as we knew we were going to the glorious Gold Coast the next day. In any case, we were strolling along as usual when we were greeted by an almighty wind and the pelting of what sounded like steel rain crashing against our door. Hail! The good Lord had sent us something to get excited about. And we did get very excited.

The desolation of being locked away in our bunker of an office was lifted, our hermit-like existence obliterated with every drop of hail. Ecstasy, elation and wonder! Because Rob was away, we all sensed an opportunity. After timidly peeking outside, we let our inhibitions run free – much like young lovers would when the parents are away. We frolicked outside amongst the hail, playfully throwing balls of hail at one another whilst screaming in a satisfied fashion. The joyous occasion was only dampened by the feeling of numbness in the hands and feet for those of us silly enough to brave the weather without adequate footwear.

Luckily Joe was on hand with his memory catcher to immortalise the time. Needless to say he "twittered' about it too. Typical.

Letter of the Year

Every now and then we get an email through the website that really just makes our day. This particular little gem is a very well written piece of fan mail regarding one of our female models (pictured below). It made us laugh.

Dear Mr Vintage team,

As I trudge through the wintry mire of sleet and suet complexions in London each morning, I think of home - primarily sand, water and happiness. Yesterday, feeling particularly tubercular and grey, I opened an email from you and was particularly buoyed. Your 'Paul Henry' model was delightfully fresh. She exemplified the best of our country; a true product of the plunkett system, abundant dairy products and compulsory sport in schools. Thank you. Please pass on my best wishes and the offer of a night on the tiles should she be passing through.

Nick.

Sarah. Causing quite the stir with her, ermm, Plunketty-ness.

Paul Henry's a fan!

So it turns out that Paul Henry is a fan of Mr Vintage! Which is neat, cos we're fans of his too. Mutual feelings are so great.

He said: "Social commentary on T-shirts is quite brilliant and it's a modern way of getting a message across. I went in and bought a few. I like them." Check out the entire article here. And he did come in to get some. I was too scared to talk to him though... I thought he might say something about my lack of facial hair or something.

Why I'm gutted to be from Auckland.

Another site I found whilst ‘surfing’ the web today.

You'd bloody well hope not.

Over the next few weeks I’ll be documenting exactly why this site and these people should move to Stuart Island and stay there.

All for a few google ad clicks...

www.shapellecorbytours.com. It’s not real. But it’s the kind of thing you could half expect the Indonesian authorities to allow if they saw a bit of the dosh.

In the ‘Photo Tour’ viewers are recommended to give Shapelle gifts. This may encourage her to “pose and smile” for photos.

Photoshop. Comes in handy.

Feeding Time Tour: For just $10AU you can not only watch Shapelle eat her meals, but you can “feed Schapelle yourself – watch her face light up as you throw various pieces of food to her”.

You can't stop the Moustache

Turns out we weren’t the only ones cool enough to comment on ‘Moustache-Gate’. This dude James at George FM made this sweet remix-track of Paul Henry’s moustache gate. We reckon its rad. Check it out here.

Thanks James, awesome tune.

Moustache-Gate

So by now everyone’s seen the Paul Henry ‘Moustache-gate’ video. Quality. For those of you who haven’t and those of you who just want to have another laugh – here it is.

I love how concerned Alison is when she realises Paul is about to read the letters. She’s such a cutie in this video. It took me about 5 watches to get over Pauls antics, and then I realised that I would gladly marry her and live happily ever after. Blast you Simon. Blast you. Now, I’m Pippa Wetzells biggest fan, don’t get me wrong. But Alison is doing a bangin job of filling in. I hope she knows we appreciate her. Because we really do.

Anyway, we’ve made the Paul Henry ‘Moustache-gate’ t-shirt – and I’m happy to report, we’ve not received one email telling us how much they detest Paul Henry or the fact that we’ve made the t-shirt. And I know a few people don’t like our friend Paul. We do – even though he wasn’t particularly as blunt on the David Bain t-shirt fiasco. Every good boy deserves a second chance. And my how you’ve taken yours with aplomb Paul.

A moustache on a lady. Stephanie the Greenpeace chick. Not Sarah. She's a friend who has no moustache at all.

On the actual incident, it’s clear that she did have a moustache. And that’s not really cool. Good on her for taking a stand and having a bit a hair on the upper lip – Lord knows that if I could, I would (gosh darn puberty has just forgotten about my face). But I don’t think people can get angry when others talk about said moustache. If it’s not the norm, people will notice. She was on National TV, so it’s to be expected that people notice and comment. Time to shoot the elephant in the corner me thinks.

Start a group. Really.

I watched NZ’s Next Top Model. Just as I thought.

I liked how they’ve managed to get two pretty-ish sisters and pit them against each other though – bringing to the fore all the pent up angst and insecurity they’ve held inside for years. I can just see how it would’ve played out at the team meeting....

Vs.

Producer: They’re sisters? (Light-bulb!) I know. Let’s get them both on the show. Let me just run through my 5-point checklist.
1. Rift – Check.
2. Drama – Check.
3. Mildly interesting – Check.
4. Lack of any other ideas – Check.
5. Enough to keep my job and hang on for another series – I hope so. I seriously hope so.

Good work team. Now to find;

Someone ethnic to bring up the race card
Someone with an illness, maybe depression or an addiction – no, someone with both!
Someone with a child who wants to go home soon. Actually, get a few - they’ll bond and form a click - genius.
And can we please find someone that has more than an ounce of fat so we can make her feel bad about it?!

I think once we’ve got that we should be good to go. Who’d have thought? The whole show planned in one meeting. Reality TV has totally saved my job.

Rubbish. And I’m not even a very cynical person.

The dust has now settled.

So the fanfare around the Bain tees has started to ease, but not before every person with an opinion shared their thoughts on it. The majority was positive feedback from people who saw the light-hearted funny side. We had others who swore they would do their best to bring us down. One person even called us imbeciles. That’s not nice at all – maybe it’s her that should be locked up. One lady went a step further and worded her entire spiel using witty sarcasm. That one confused us all and we weren’t sure if we were receiving praise or criticism. We’re simple folk here at Mr Vintage.

But the press really got hold of the story and ran with it, to the point that Rob was interviewed for a piece on TV3. Celebrity much? One week it’s the cover of the Parnell Darling, next it’s TV.... We’ve even been featured in at least five Australian news websites (blah, blah, blah). That’s a different country yo! Neat-o gang!

I guess just to re-cap, we’re pretty happy with how we might look after this incident, and – contrary to what a few people think – we’re confident that the majority of people weren’t offended by what were pretty harmless t-shirts. If we’ve lost a few customers or supporters, that sucks, but that's life and hopefully they can find it in their hearts to forgive us for our sins.

Moving forward, we’ve got some really wicked designs coming up, and if you’ve managed to stick by us through this whole saga you won’t be disappointed. I promise - they'll definitely be better than the Chicken and Avocado sandwich I had for lunch. There was barely any avocado in it. There'll be heaps of avocado in our t-shirts.

I love you. Kind regards, Jay.

David Bain Tees...

If you haven't seen them, check them out.

Basically the press were saying that the tees are in bad taste. They also decided for some strange reason to seek the opinions of some crappy art-house designers. They of course felt it was tasteless. Meh. The writers had a field day as well. They used some aggressive words like “unrepentant”, and “slammed” – which was nice work.

Here’s some highlights:

World fashion label founder Denise L'Estrange-Corbet said people should remember that the trial was about "the murder of his family... it's a cheap way for a brand to lever publicity off something which so shocked New Zealanders".
Zambesi founder Liz Findlay agreed. "I feel that this is in bad taste...

So there are articles online on; stuff, nzherald, tvnz, Otago Daily Times, Voxy – check them out.

Now, here’s my take on what's been going on.

• His jumpers were super-sweet. That’s a fact.

• That chick with the weird name from ‘World’ should shut up. I mean seriously, she made kids t-shirts with the text: “future porn star”. If anyone’s trying to lever publicity from scandal then it’s surely that freaky lady.

• That Zambesi lady reckons it’s in bad taste. She should take a second look at her Air NZ uniforms that she designed. Now that’s a fashion crime. Put a bit more effort in lady.

• Paul Henry felt it was bad taste. That's a shame, I really like Paul Henry. I had no idea he was so PC.

• Oliver Driver said on Sunrise that the tees were fine, and people should get over it. Good man Oliver you tall drink of water.

Let us know what you think.

Model Comp coming very soon....

Last year we ran the first ‘Mr Vintage Next Top Model’ Competition. Or was it the year before?… well it doesn’t really matter; I definitely remember doing it at some point. All these pretty ladies sent in their photos and we got to look at them and choose our favourite 20. Some boys sent in their photos too, but at the time we had only male staff members and we got frightened and deleted those ones.

After putting the Top 20 on the website, we got you lot to vote on them. It turns out that over 1,600 people cared enough to select their favourite woman. Dudes will sign up for anything if it means they get to have a look at beautiful ladies, especially when the thumbnails are just teasing facial images and a further click reveals a body shot. Internet high-five!

So this lovely lady named Kerryn (pictured) won. We gave her a whole pile of t-shirts in return for her friendship (and some photos of her in t-shirts to put on the website). She’s since gone on to bigger and better things however – all due to her winning the Mr Vintage comp of course – and the other day I even saw her on a bus. In an ad, not just sitting in the bus.

It could be you. If you're that way inclined of course.

More to follow...

New Staff Member Mel - She's a girl

Kia Ora!

My name is Melanie, and I am the new intern at Mr Vintage. I have barely been here an hour, but I have already been asked to refer to Rob as either ‘Prince Charming’ or ‘PC Ewan’ (thanks to the Parnell Darling). The crew has asked me to write a wee bio about myself, so here’s a few little facts about me…

My favourite colour is sea green, although this changes almost on a monthly basis
I am a chronic sleep talker (no kidding, you can have a conversation with me and I won’t remember it in the morning..)
I am addicted to snowboarding
I hang out with a Guinea Pig called Comet when I am hungover
I am very gullible
I love road trips
If you mess with my ice cream, prepare to pay the consequences..

Other than that, I am excited to start the job here at Mr Vintage!!

Chow for now

Mel xx

Drama at Mr Vintage

The feeling in the office lately has been frosty to say the least. There's splits in the camp, people not talking to people, people not sharing their lunch as they usually do.... It's rocky.

It all started yesterday.... While Andy and Joe were at the gym together, they were using their usual motivational techniques to push each other the limit. Andy would tell Joe to stop being such a pussy and keep going, while Joe would call Andy his 'Little buddy' and tell him he had small legs to make him keep going. When the rest of us at work got wind of this, we thought it was a laugh and stuck with the 'little' jibe. Bad idea. What happens in the gym, stays in the gym it seems.

Unfortunately, I have copped the full force of Andy's darker side - being completely frozen out and given the silent treatment by Andy.

I'd like to use this outlet as the platform for my heartfelt apology. In Rap form of course.

Andy. You're not small. You're so big.

Andy. You're not small. And now I realise the silliness of the call. You're so big. Under that massive chest, where your heart lives - I hope there's a place to forgive.

On my mouth I should've put a lid, you make me look like a pre-pubescent kid. With my hairless cheeks, and you with your hairy face - next to you I seem out of place.

You're by far the most muscly human being I know. And when I look at my guns next to you, I wonder when I'll start to grow.

Ronnie Coleman is your idol, but he aint got nothing on you. Jay Cutler comes close, but next to you he looks like poo.

Real Talk.
I can handle not being a brother of steel.

But when you ignore me, depression is how I feel.

It makes me sad, and I'm not even going through a gay fad. It's just that I'm always thinking of how to make it up to you, even whilst sitting down for a poo.

It's with you in mind, I wrote this rap.

The hope being, our relationship would be re-charged, like after a nap.

So when you awake,

a difference I hope this rap will make.

I'll give it time, I'm prepared to wait.

But one thing I can't bear to take, being the object of your hate.

Forgive me please,

I'll fold some tees.

I'll even go up and check the PO Box,

all the while yelling, "Andy Rocks"!

Many Blessings, your friend. Jay.

See. We do like South Auckland.

This little blog is just to show that we're not all silly buggers around here. Pretending to be other staff members writing fashion blogs and other crazy things like that are only some of the things we get up to here...

Rob said it was akward holding the handshake for so long.

Here's a picture of Rob - or 'Prince Charming' as the Parnell Darling Magazine have dubbed him - with Daniel Newman of the Manurewa City Council. That little piece of paper that's he's handing Dan is actually a cheque for $559.13 in cold hard cash (well...cheque form, but I wanted to say cold hard cash).

The money will go to the Randwick Park School so they can do some good stuff with it. If I was one of the students I'd be hoping for a fair to be held at the school so I could play coconut shy. I love that game.

Cheers, Jay.

Roberto McEwen

We've got this running joke at work about Robs name. Now, Rob has a pretty simple name really. Robert Ewan. I think you'll all agree that it's an easy name to remember.

Not so apparently. Robs regularly been called; Rod, Mark, Rob Ewen, and everyone's favourite, Rob McEwan. It's such an easy name to remember, I mean seriously, it's just two first names put together to make a full name. Actually, the other day I heard the saying 'Never trust a man with two first names'. Needless to say, I've got my eye on Rod from now on.

Anyway, I've been trying to think why so many people screw up his name. It's not hard, it's not long - stop being dirty you! - it's not hard to say, it's not hard to spell. Is it because he's forgettable? I should think not. He did win the Watson Trophy at school. That was the trophy awarded for the 'Personality of the year'. I covet that prize, and not a day goes by that I don't wonder what might have been had I attended Papatoetoe High. That's one to show the Grandkids.

Maybe they think he works at McDonalds?

Back to Rob. So the other day this little pixie came down to work to interview Rob for some magazine. And she was a nice little lady, and she was nice enough to send through the article before print. I'm kinda gutted that she did, cos Old Rob had somehow picked up a Mc in his surname! He gets pretty riled up about it. We all have a good laugh though.

Have a good day, Jay.

A lil Flair from Joe

I'm back!

Firstly, i'm just going to have to apologise for Jay. He's an angry little man, and Rob Schneider - if you're listening - you're a doll so don't stress it hun. I haven't seen the movie yet, but I don't think it would be the biggest mistake if you did. A big mistake would be getting a childish tattoo of the Playboy Bunny on your lower back. What can I say? Love makes you do crazy things :O

I have been thinking though, what on earth should I write about next? Don't worry, I'll continue doing the fashion updates. But I want something else! The boys at work have been giving me a bit of a ribbing about my lack of sporting knowledge. So I thought, I'll show them. Welcome to my new update. 'Sports makes Joe Grow'!

First installment; The cricket has been rained off today. OMG - Sounds like a night to work on the cuticles people!!! Because there's nothing worse than a neglected cuticle.

Cuticles: Men TOTALLY notice!

TTYS!

Joey. XOXO