The Rippin' and the Tearin'

For a man that at first view is seemingly past the peak of his sexual powers, Rick pumps and thrusts in such a way that suggests there’s plenty of life in the old stallion yet. He’s clearly enjoying the Indian summer of his career.

His smile alone tells you that much, but there are a few standout points that really capture how eager Ricky the sexpot is. At around 13 seconds, he can barely contain his excitement and just wants to talk about how happy he is to be there. Another 13 seconds and he’s grabbing at the mic to deliver his mantra: the Rippin’ and the Tearin’, the Rippin’ and the Tearin’. I’m really struggling to find superlatives in which to describe this moment.

With 40 visits to Hedonism 2 under his, err, speedo belt, I can only imagine the situations him and his horny pecker have found themselves ‘in’. He’s probably met Byron Kelleher at one of these things, and again, I shudder to think about what those two tweezers got up to.

Then the dancing... White guys.

You’ll never hear Beyonce’s ‘Diva’ again and not think of Rick thrusting his love in your direction.

Have fun.

ARGGGGH#@$%^&*!

If you own a Mac, I don't wanna hear it....unless this happens on Macs too...does it? I dunno. Either way. PET PEEVE 2000.

Good Times.

Antoine Dobson

Rape is a good thing never, but I am thankful that a failed attack resulted in this guy and his sister getting some solid air-time. The pair of them are made for television.

Neat auto-tune remix too:

Enjoy.

Joe likes burgers

The other day I was eating dinner at my flat - I do this from time to time, cash flow pending – when we got on to the subject of food consumption; namely speed and volume. We all rated ourselves, and inevitably compared stories of ‘that guy’ we know that can just eat and eat.

Everyone’s got one of these friends. You know the guy; they shovel their food down faster than everyone else at the table, then sit and wait patiently, eyeing up everyone else’s food at the table; carefully analysing which female is most likely to be defeated by her meal and therefore present an opportunity for this food-loving machine to ‘mop up the scraps’.

I’ve got a few friends that fit in to this category, and one of them is Joey Wharehinga, who I have the good fortune of working alongside on a daily basis. Being able to observe this beast in close proximity and study his eating habits has been quite a wild ride. I’ve always known he had a love of food – you only have to check out his twitter to know that much (@justjoe_) – but today he told me a story that perfectly illustrated his lust for greasy burgers.

Joe. thinking of cheeseburgers. I've seen Joe drive 15 cheeseburgers in to that gut.

It was a pretty standard Saturday night for old mate Joey ‘the social piranha’. He’d been out at Hayden’s 21st and had a few beers there, before heading out to the JuiceTV Bar n Grill (Windsor Castle) for some album release party, before finally mincing it up at The White House where he took in a stag do and looked at some pies.

Somehow, throughout the course of this socialising filled evening, he was able to fit in visits to Wendy’s, the one and only White Lady, AND McDonalds. He reckons these visits spanned about 3 hours, and included 10 burgers (including the sizeable White Lady burgers). I was quite astounded that he achieved this feat, all the while still downing a few brews. So astounded in fact that I just had to share it with all of you. Marvel.

Here’s what Joe drove in to his gut on that fateful Saturday night:

Wendy’s:
1 x Bacon Cheeseburger – snack.

The White Lady:
1 x Cheeseburger – filled a gap.

McDonald’s:
1 x Big Mac Combo – standard.
1 x Fillet O Fish – piss.
1 x McChicken – processed treat. no mayo.
1 x Quarter Pounder – excessive meat.
4 x Cheeseburgers – dirty little cocksuckers.

He took Monday off work.

p.s. I also used to know this guy at Primary School who could run on gravel with bare feet without losing any of his speed. what a result.