He's back

Our mate Rick Giles has issued a response. Perhaps a regular spot on Sunrise is in order. The Anti-Ollie: Rick Giles.

Check it out boys

This is what happens when you put NZ's most entertaining man on National TV. He should have been on The Apprentice NZ.

The Rugby World Cup

There are a few rumors circulating today concerning the official song for the 2011 Rugby World Cup. http://bit.ly/93sMA5 Please God, I hope it’s not true.

I’m not the biggest rugby fan in the world anymore, these days my involvement barely extends to processing the score of the latest Blues game rather than looking out for it. I’ll watch the All Blacks, but I can’t really remember the last time I enjoyed an All Blacks game. The game’s digressed; it’s not entertaining, going to games is even worse – the atmosphere is like shagging a dead horse. Lifeless.

smug bastards.

But when it comes to a World Cup, I’ll certainly tune in. It’s the whole feeling about it; opening ceremonies, sudden death, group stages, newspaper schedule pull-outs, and of course, the theme music for the event. One aspect of music that’s really cool is the way it attaches itself to memories. One time I went on a road trip to Wellington and only took a few CD’s, now every time I hear Jakob, Goldenhorse, or Grandaddy, I’m instantly taken back to the images of driving round Wellington. It’s neat.

And now I hear that the Feelers are doing a cover of British pop band Jesus Jones' song 'Right Here, Right Now' for the 2011 Rugby World Cup. Yes, I do have something against the feelers. But that’s because they are genuinely shit, once I was eating at this restaurant and the Feelers started playing; I damn near threw up my Greek Moussaka! This song will be drummed in to my head if I follow this World Cup with any real conviction, etched in to my heart. It will be like James Reid getting inside my head and whaling his grating voice until I go crazy, and the worst part is that he’s probably being paid pretty handsomely to do it.

I've gradually accepted that the Feelers have somehow wormed their way in to becoming one of New Zealand Music’s favorite sons, but to such a degree? Last year they were awarded the honor of having NZ’s highest selling album – it was their greatest hits. You’re having a laugh. What sort of country do we live in when a band like the Feelers reign supreme? General opinion of most people I know, and certainly most people on twitter, is that they’re tits.

It all begs the question really, is watching the 2011 Rugby World Cup really going to be worth it? I think not. But perhaps my ramblings are in fact misguided, it seems NZ love the Feelers. Am I just being unpatriotic? Maybe I should just stay quiet and agree to disagree.

I’ve just now noticed that it’s been confirmed. http://bit.ly/9Vb42o Read it and weep boys.

a marmite tattoo

One of the first tasks I like to get in to on a Monday morning is the website enquiries. While it can often be quite a menial task, the enquiry content can range from entertaining to frustrating. Today’s enquiries however brought with it a pleasant little surprise we’ve never had before.

Here’s the email we got:

Subject: Marmite and Chips Print
From: Kaylee
Enquiry Date: 2010-03-28 22:11

Hiya, I see the marmite and chips print is the retired prints page. I was just wondering tho, I want to get a tattoo of it but can't copy and save the picture in full so any chance I can get a copy off you guys? :)
Chur!
Kaylee.

Now, while I see it as a huge compliment to Joe’s talent with a pen and computer, it’s pretty crazy. I mean, seriously, it’s not a bad design (above), but is that what you want to look at when you’re like 70… marmite n chips? I’m kind of hoping that she was drunk, seeing as her email was at 11:11pm on a Saturday night, but who knows. Anyway, here are some tattoos that are pretty shit-house.

Remuera Hard bro.

get some.

it's not gay, it's just shit.

The piece de resistance: a diddle, as it is done, with veins.

Joe Wharehinga is a hipster

Everyone knows someone like this. I do. His name is Joe and he's the designer here at Mr Vintage. He's so indie that when he rides his bicycle, he wears a beanie precariously perched on the top of his head under his helmet.

The Cryptid Factor on bFM

When you put two grown men with an enthusiastic passion for unknown species of animals in the same room, you’re going to get some entertaining conversation. When those two people are Rhys Darby and David Farrier, you’ve got yourself a radio show and that radio show is called the Cryptid Factor.

And when there is a show as good as the Cryptid Factor floating around the airwaves, it’s usually a good idea to make a t-shirt for that show, so that’s just what we’ve done. check out the Official Cryptid Factor t-shirts and singlets.

If you’ve not heard the show on 95.0 bFM, I suggest you tune in on Sundays from 9am-11am. They’re also doing 3 live shows at the comedy festival, want to go?

You can follow them or you can become a fan or you can do both both. I've done both and it's worked out great for me.

Rob Ewan 4 George Lucas 4 Life

Today we did a few t-shirts for the Hutt Valley region. And Rob being the fantasy fanatic he is, insisted on this tidy little design – utilising a nice bit of pun work there too.

But Rob’s fantasy obsession is becoming a bit ridiculous, you see, he’s told me he’s saving up to go to this Star Wars convention type thing over in Europe or something. Apparently it’s called the ‘Star Wars celebration’ and I think they just sit around and talk about how George Lucas is a much cooler guy than Peter Jackson. Google it... if you really want to.

So yeah, Rob’s been saving his up his Sir Edmond’s in an effort to make this cool event, and he says that he’s been having more fun than ever. This weekend he said he had the most fun 48 hours he’s ever had and it only cost 6.99 from Pack n Save. Check out what Rob spent his weekend making... Whatever floats your boat, or err, death star.

I didn't ask Rob what the hole was for because quite frankly I'm scared of the answer.

Baracky Obama

In light of today's historic Health reform bill, I thought it only fair to pay tribute to the great man Barack Obama.

He's all gags. And why not.

St. Patrick's and Social Media

I remember in my youth St. Patrick’s Day was an occasion that I always looked forward to. At one party, we went to a friend’s flat and threw her chairs off her deck; it was awesome. My friend Ben ended up marrying her flatmate as well, crazy. Another St. Patrick’s Day we went to town, not like Pony club with Brooke-Howard-Hyphenate or anything, just to some bars that you don’t need a girl with you or pointy shoes on to get into. At the end of the night we had to pull over on Hillsborough Rd and I helped old mate Will (Bens brother) spew on the side of the road. Ben drove past and waved, which was nice of him.
This year was fun, but in a much different way. We had Social Media Fun. Man, I’m 25 years old this year and for the first time I totally feel 25.

Back to the Social Media fun, we had a whole bunch of St. Paddys tees leftover. We needed to get rid of the tees quickly, as we were finishing at 3pm to go to the pub; I needed to decide what to do for dinner, and we wanted to have a few drinks before we left. We thought we’d get our friends on twitter and facebook to help us out.

We first asked them to bring a potato (preferably waxy) to the shop, in return for a free St. Paddys tee – Good return. Then we asked them to bring down some Guinness, well, any alcohol really – Success. We then asked them to bring down a scoop of hot chips for a t-shirt – Great Success!

In the end we got:
4 Waxy Potatoes
8 bottles of Guinness
12 Cans of Guinness
6 Cans of Steinlager
2 Bottles of Heineken
2 Bottles of Carlsberg
1 Bottle of Wine
1 Bottle of Opal Nera
Two Baileys n Cream shots
AND
1 Scoop of Hot Chips!

RESULT.

After a few drinks we went down to the Dogs Bollix for some loud Irish Music and a few more drinks. I left at about 5pm, without having a drink, with the other guys. I then went home, had some dinner with my lover, went home and was in bed by 9.30pm. I later received a txt that my name was on the door for the ‘Dead Weather’ gig (Jack White’s band) at the Powerstation. But I was already in bed. On St. Patrick’s Day. I’m 24 years old. And washed up.

You've heard of the Backstreet Boy, yeah?

From time to time we come across some really famous people wearing our t-shirts. It’s a delight. Last year we had David Beckham’s kid and Kimberley Crossman from Shortland Street. Yep, I know. But now we’ve got one to trump them all.

Little known singer/performer/really great artist Howie D, of the Backstreet Boys fame, sports his Keep NZ Beautiful t-shirt.

Joe and Sale St Bar n Grill

I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it, but Joe is a big fan of Sale St Bar n Grill, and the other day his mate 'Macca' jumped in one of the little water features outside. Joe said they had been on the booze for hours. I think it's terrible behavior. Joe is a jock who loves Rugby and the Super 14.

Joe said Macca's missus is gonna be ropeable.

Piano Man

Some people on chatroulette.com are really creative. check out this dude:

SNL feat. Julian Casablancas

Everything Julian Casablancas does is cool. period.

Round the Bays

‘Round the Bays’ was on Sunday, and just like previous years we went from Quay St in the City along to the waterfront at St Heliers Bay. Some ran and some walked; either way, it was a joyous occasion for all, and the BBQ after really topped it off. Check the team. RUN AK!

Rob ran in his Prada glasses. #fag.

Being the masters of Marketing and all, we really kicked ass in that our t-shirt didn't even have our logo or any branding on it. Victory.

Team Vintage. We run this shit.

NZ Autumn Gift Fair

From Sunday through Wednesday (7th – 9th) we were at the Autumn NZ Gift Fair. It was pretty good value, met a few good store-owners and the like. As always with these types of events, we spend a good portion of the time watching people, judging them. Just a little bit, but I’m not going to lie about it – it’s what we do. That and draw naughty pictures of the people we see.

So while we were there – looking, judging, and drawing – Rob decided to dabble in a little bit of rap, as he likes to from time to time. While I can’t show you the pictures we drew (NSFW), I can post the rap. Here goes.

Gift fair – Where we stare. by Rob Ewan

Just been at the Gift Fair selling tees,
Amongst other NZ stuff that was all pretty cheese

Saw heaps of Mums with dyed hair,
Their beads and bracelets made us stare

We were opposite a lady selling disco balls,
Like a $2 store in one of those crappy malls

Women pass with their blonde hair and dyed red fringes,
What’s up with that - can’t they see everyone’s cringes?

Oh well it’s time to pack up and leave
Shout out to my Dad who got a job today, his name's Steve

I tried finding a picture of the type of clientele there, but it seems searching "Mum hairdos with highlights and necklaces and bangles" does not yeild the desired image results. So instead, here's Rapper Rob.

bad ass.

check that shit out

Crazy horses

Taika Waititi is pure genius. spend some time enjoying this promo for his new movie, Boy.
http://crazyhorses.co.nz/
http://boythemovie.co.nz/

Parachute FAIL

That's a shame that is.

Chat Roulette: For Wankers

Chat Roulette: The new phenomenon sweeping the Internet. It’s one of those things that first came to my attention through old mate Twitter. I just figured it was another tech-savvy fad like Google Wave; Interesting, possibly even helpful, but I’d probably never use it.

Then Joe came to work with the revelation that his mate Max had used Chat Roulette and talked to Jessica Alba. Jessica Alba. I want to talk to Jessica Alba. Apparently he got a screenshot too, so it’s legit.

The following day, Joe came in and recalled last night’s adventures on chatroulette.com. He didn’t talk to Jessica Alba. Nothing of the sort, no sir, nothing like Jessica Alba. What he saw was far more disgusting. I was alarmed – grown men go on chat roulette with the sole purpose of wanking their dicks in to a camera. I suppose they do so in the faint hope of finding a sexy lady to look at, but there’s every chance that they don’t really mind what they find. Exhibitionists of sorts I guess.

Why then did I feel the need to go home and sell the idea to my flat mate? We jumped on; maybe I wanted to see if people were that sick. Maybe I wanted to see Jessica Alba. I think part of me knew what I was going to find - deviants playing with themselves. But I did it anyway, and most people I’ve talked to lately have also taken part.

What I got was a whole lot of nothing – it seems that the sight of two young dudes sitting in a room instantly forced people to click the ‘next’ button. Demoralised, we quickly recruited Tim – my other flat mate – and his girlfriend Nicki. Nicki was the bait and it worked a treat. We were meeting people left right and centre. She had enough though and we had to wait until my lady friend Sian came over till we were back in business.

Sian knew what was going on, and while initially hesitant, we peer pressured her in to sticking with it. After a while she got over the nerves and started having a little bit of fun. Until the inevitable happened, we saw a man pleasuring himself. She squealed and ran off. Ben and I laughed lots. That was it. We got to see what we were there to see. I think. I dunno.

At least some people are a little creative, Joe saw one guy holding up a stick figure drawing but his penis was poking out. That’s legit. And so is this video.

Doing Bombs

This little Maori kid is awesome. He just loves doing bombs. When I think of what Joe was like when he was little, I like to imagine he was just like this kid.

Kiwis are quite smart

I've had a fascination for all things hovering for a long time now. I think it was after I saw Back to the Future and the wicked-sweet hover board he rides. Now, this is no hover board, but it's pretty rad. iWant.

Tait is slightly lame

I expected better from an Australian.

After bowling 4 for 40 runs, never-mind completely choking in the ‘one-over eliminator’ after the match was tied – all Shaun Tait could muster as a response was to pull the fingers at McCullum. You lose Shaun Tate. You lose.

yum (NSFW)

The other week my flatmate Tim Youngson was in a motorbike accident in which he broke his leg rather badly. His bone fell out and now he has a steel rod in there. Terminator. He's recovering well, and seems in high spirits - morphine helps. Here’s some pictures.

He's so rock n roll old Uncle Tim.

That’s a Grammy nominated bone right there.

Tsunami Warning: Natural Selection

There was a Tsunami warning so these people at Breaker Bay decided to get their dicks and tits out. real smart move.

Over the weekend there was a Tsunami warning. Some refused to heed the warning, and while there has been little sign of the supposed Tsunami that doesn’t mean you head down to the beach at the height of the warning and flail about tempting fate.

One of these days the Tsunami warning will come to fruition, and while it may sound a little harsh; those dumb enough to continue with their plans for a nude photo shoot on the beach will be eliminated from the human race. Call it natural selection, only those stupid enough to blatantly ignore any sort of Tsunami warning deserve to go.