MrVintage Blog

This is insanely awesome

2010-10-04T10:37:00.000+13:00

Bottle from Kirsten Lepore on Vimeo.

Art?

2010-09-29T09:36:00.002+13:00

And we complain about that Pohutukawa statue on Union Street...

http://www.boredpanda.com/strangest-sculptures-from-around-the-world/

The Rippin' and the Tearin'

2010-08-20T14:49:00.003+12:00

For a man that at first view is seemingly past the peak of his sexual powers, Rick pumps and thrusts in such a way that suggests there’s plenty of life in the old stallion yet. He’s clearly enjoying the Indian summer of his career.

His smile alone tells you that much, but there are a few standout points that really capture how eager Ricky the sexpot is. At around 13 seconds, he can barely contain his excitement and just wants to talk about how happy he is to be there. Another 13 seconds and he’s grabbing at the mic to deliver his mantra: the Rippin’ and the Tearin’, the Rippin’ and the Tearin’. I’m really struggling to find superlatives in which to describe this moment.

With 40 visits to Hedonism 2 under his, err, speedo belt, I can only imagine the situations him and his horny pecker have found themselves ‘in’. He’s probably met Byron Kelleher at one of these things, and again, I shudder to think about what those two tweezers got up to.

Then the dancing... White guys.

You’ll never hear Beyonce’s ‘Diva’ again and not think of Rick thrusting his love in your direction.

Have fun.

ARGGGGH#@$%^&*!

2010-08-20T10:26:00.002+12:00

If you own a Mac, I don't wanna hear it....unless this happens on Macs too...does it? I dunno. Either way. PET PEEVE 2000.

Good Times.

2010-08-15T14:13:00.000+12:00

Antoine Dobson

2010-08-10T10:58:00.002+12:00

Rape is a good thing never, but I am thankful that a failed attack resulted in this guy and his sister getting some solid air-time. The pair of them are made for television.

Neat auto-tune remix too:

Enjoy.

Joe likes burgers

2010-08-09T14:53:00.003+12:00

The other day I was eating dinner at my flat - I do this from time to time, cash flow pending – when we got on to the subject of food consumption; namely speed and volume. We all rated ourselves, and inevitably compared stories of ‘that guy’ we know that can just eat and eat.

Everyone’s got one of these friends. You know the guy; they shovel their food down faster than everyone else at the table, then sit and wait patiently, eyeing up everyone else’s food at the table; carefully analysing which female is most likely to be defeated by her meal and therefore present an opportunity for this food-loving machine to ‘mop up the scraps’.

I’ve got a few friends that fit in to this category, and one of them is Joey Wharehinga, who I have the good fortune of working alongside on a daily basis. Being able to observe this beast in close proximity and study his eating habits has been quite a wild ride. I’ve always known he had a love of food – you only have to check out his twitter to know that much (@justjoe_) – but today he told me a story that perfectly illustrated his lust for greasy burgers.

Joe. thinking of cheeseburgers. I've seen Joe drive 15 cheeseburgers in to that gut.

It was a pretty standard Saturday night for old mate Joey ‘the social piranha’. He’d been out at Hayden’s 21st and had a few beers there, before heading out to the JuiceTV Bar n Grill (Windsor Castle) for some album release party, before finally mincing it up at The White House where he took in a stag do and looked at some pies.

Somehow, throughout the course of this socialising filled evening, he was able to fit in visits to Wendy’s, the one and only White Lady, AND McDonalds. He reckons these visits spanned about 3 hours, and included 10 burgers (including the sizeable White Lady burgers). I was quite astounded that he achieved this feat, all the while still downing a few brews. So astounded in fact that I just had to share it with all of you. Marvel.

Here’s what Joe drove in to his gut on that fateful Saturday night:

Wendy’s:
1 x Bacon Cheeseburger – snack.

The White Lady:
1 x Cheeseburger – filled a gap.

McDonald’s:
1 x Big Mac Combo – standard.
1 x Fillet O Fish – piss.
1 x McChicken – processed treat. no mayo.
1 x Quarter Pounder – excessive meat.
4 x Cheeseburgers – dirty little cocksuckers.

He took Monday off work.

p.s. I also used to know this guy at Primary School who could run on gravel with bare feet without losing any of his speed. what a result.

Fun with Boba

2010-07-30T09:13:00.005+12:00

The other day the coolest thing happened. Some lady from Hasbro asked us if we wanted to give away some of the new Star Wars toys, which we kindly accepted.

I know we’re supposed to be giving them away and all that, but it was just too hard, we had to open one Boba Fett Helmet; we resisted it for a whole day but he just keep looking at me.

We all had a turn wearing the helmet, and did a few gag photos of us meandering through our every day work, but wearing the helmet whilst doing so. Crack up. What happened after that was quite disgusting, but nevertheless more entertaining than a few lame shots of us wearing the helmet at our desks.

Introducing, Hayden ‘The Hammer’ Bentley. P.s. It’s Hayden’s 21st on Saturday, so for all Ladies wanting to send in their panties, just drop them off to our store at 302 Great North Rd.

Oh yeah, giveaway to follow next week. And all the toys are brand new, completely clean and sterilized.

Steve keeps the Ajax at arms reach at all times. OCD.

Me. Super Kawaii.

Andy. drinking coffee. like a boss.

Wharehinga. dope bro.

Fett. at the bus stop. lol.

I was going to put something like, "Greetings earthlings" but then I realised that wasn't funny at all. Mel.

Old man Phil got amongst it, before declaring: "it's not practical".

Rob did wees out of his winky. it's so white, almost porcelain, and rumored to have no scent.

Rob offered $50 for Hayden to strip down. Should fund half an hour in town for him.

The Money shot. spread eagle.

www.icemission.co.nz

2010-07-27T12:05:00.004+12:00

You’ve probably seen it by now – but the Auckland City Mission have an awesome campaign running at the moment that we’re proud to be supporting.

The Auckland City Mission think it’s pretty stink how people in poverty suffer. They dedicate their lives to it. They also think it’s super stink how much more people suffer when it’s freezing cold in Winter. They’ve dedicated this week to really helping out people suffering this Winter.

ASB have come to the party in a big way, contributing $40,000 cold hard cash (lol) to the Auckland City Mission. The money’s in the safe; the safe’s in the ice - You can free the safe. Simply txt 305 with your initials and your choice of FIRE, STEAM, OR WATER to melt the safe. then watch it at www.icemission.co.nz

We’ve done it, and it’s wicked fun. Here’s a screen shot of our effort. It only came up with MR but, MRV didn’t fit. I’m an idiot.

Do it. It's good and will make you feel a little bit warm and fuzzy inside.

Big ups to all the dudes on twitter helping out too. @Giapo, @UrgentCouriers, @ASBBank, @VodafoneNZ etc… goooood shiiiitttt.

oh and buy the t-shirt too.
http://www.mrvintage.co.nz/results.html?q=City+Mission

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I'm calling B-Tak Tamaki.

2010-07-23T15:47:00.003+12:00

That's enough Mike Hosking. No one cares for your 5 page spread in the NZ Woman's Weekly. Stop trying to be Hugh Grant. Stop straightening your hair. Stop paying magazines to do shit-house stories on you. Just stop.

Shamone

2010-07-23T14:59:00.005+12:00

I like this on so many levels.

i love stuff in my mouth.

2010-07-20T15:03:00.002+12:00

I know how that must sound, but...

Every now and then a blog will come along and just completely blow your mind.

For me, that blog is ‘Stuff in my mouth’. Hearing the name, you’d probably (and perhaps reasonably) assume that this blog is one that carries rather questionable content. Not so.

Over the past year or so this fantastic girl and her fantastic little friend have humoured me with the various little items they’ve found time to photograph in their mouths. The items vary. From 14 Giant Jaffa’s, to 22 pencils, to a Dick Tracy figurine – their witty word play and deadpan expressions have always left me extremely satisfied.

I’ve no recollection of how I stumbled across this blog; I can only praise the heavens that such a miraculous gift came in to my life.

I suggest you try it.

win a NZ Indie Mix Tape USB

2010-07-20T11:45:00.006+12:00

The crafty cats over at www.MusicHy.pe have done it again. You might have seen their Mint Chicks USB they did a while back, which was sweet. Well... now they've managed to get the top 12 emerging NZ Indie artists together to make one sweet little mix tape. Packaged on this nifty little cassette USB, we're lucky enough to have 2 to give away.

We've decided to make it easy for you, just buy one of these NZ Indie Mix Tape t-shirts that you would've bought anyway - and the first two to purchase them will get themselves a Mix Tape USB.

If you missed out on winning one, you can just buy it here.

Wicki Herbert

2010-07-05T14:16:00.003+12:00

He'd have been proud as punch when he saw Sarah sporting her Mr Vintage 'HOPE' tee at the airport. we were too.

The World Cup is over for NZ... here's a reason to smile though.

2010-06-25T11:34:00.003+12:00

This morning the All Whites exited the 2010 World Cup with their heads held high. It was a morning full of emotions. I was really gutted, and as if I wasn't gutted enough, as we made our way to the White Lady for a post match de-brief over a greasy burger, we suffered the ignominy of being turned away because they were closing up. It was the worst feeling of my life.

But I saw something this morning that changed my mood. I'd seen it previously, but something really opened my eyes this time as I watched his poignant interview.

The world needs more people like this. What a good dude.

HELP

2010-06-18T16:28:00.001+12:00

Our mates over at Microsoft are auctioning off their t-shirts for a good cause. All money raised will go to the Cure Kids organisation who do some pretty wicked things – over the last 30 years they’ve raised over $25 million for Child Research.

So yeah, get on board and make some bids. We vouch for the tees too. Some clued up cats made those suckas.

The reserve is $15, so just click here.

Fot Iraqi Kid

2010-06-14T16:34:00.004+12:00

you have to watch this kid move.
the boy is good.
there's a whole raft of videos that feature this 'fat Iraqi kid', and I think the general gist of it is that he dances for the American soldiers and they give him candy.
he's a unit, and he's a genius.

He's a private dancer, a dancer for candy.

SFRQ 2010

2010-06-09T12:35:00.005+12:00

Smokefreerockquest is something of an institution in New Zealand these days. Since 1989, the nationwide youth event has been helping young musicians realise their ability, and at the same time encourage their peers to support 100% NZ Music.

You only have to look at the list of successful bands that have been brought through the ‘rockquest system’ currently in the NZ Music scene. Check it out: Evermore, Die!Die!Die!, the Datsuns, Brooke Fraser, Anika Moa, Cut off your Hands, Flight of the Conchords, The Electric Confectionaires, Elemeno P, So So Modern, Midnight Youth, Bang!Bang!Eche! Steriogram, Lady Hawke, Minuit, Fat Freddys Drop, Aaradhna, Atlas, The Feelers, The Blackseeds, Nesian Mystic, Bic Runga, The Have, Fur Patrol, Liam Finn, Pine, King Kapisi, and The Checks. Impressive.

So yeah, the 2010 programme has kicked off and if you want a piece just click fru to their site here: http://www.smokefreerockquest.co.nz/ or check out the dates listed below.

Dates:

AUCKLAND CENTRAL Final - Sat 22nd May
AUCKLAND EAST Final - Sat 19th June
AUCKLAND WEST Final - Fri 28th May
BAY OF PLENTY Final - Fri 25th June
CANTERBURY Finals - Fri 11th June & Sat 12th June
CENTRAL OTAGO (WANAKA/QUEENSTOWN) Final - Sat 24th July
EAST COAST Final - Sat 19th June
HAWKES BAY Final - Sat 29th May
MANAWATU Final - Sat 12th June
MANUKAU Final - Fri 11th June
NELSON/MARLBOROUGH Final - Sat 26th June
NORTHLAND Final - Fri 2nd July
NORTH SHORE Final - Fri 4th June
OTAGO Final - Sat 29th May
ROTORUA Final - Sat 26th June
SOUTHLAND Final - Fri 28th May
TARANAKI Final - Sat 26th June
TIMARU Final - Sat 19th June
WANGANUI Final - Fri 25th June
WAIKATO Final - Sat 12th June
WAIRARAPA Final - Sat 24th July
WELLINGTON inc. HUTT Final - Fri 2nd July
WEST COAST Final - Fri 18th June

OH YEAH - and BUY the tees here.

Famous

2010-06-08T15:15:00.004+12:00

You know you've made it when celebrities of the caliber of Steven Seagal and Diamond Dallas Page are photographed with some of your apparel. It's even more impressive when you realise that these celebrities are at the peak of their careers.

If you know Andy Shackleton, you know that he's in to his action movies. And you can't really be in to your action movies unless you have a deep appreciation for Steven Seagal and his entire works. So it was with great joy we learnt that Steve had been gifted a KNZB bag by our mate Ben.

Everyone at Mr Vintage, well the guys here at least, have all been big wrestling fans at one point or another and we were just delighted to see old DDP still looking in tip-top shape. I love the Diamond Cutter.

A. Mazing.

2010-06-08T14:40:00.003+12:00

I think you might like watching this guy if you like awesome stuff.

My flatmate Tim showed me this. Tim plays the drums, but he ain't got shit on this guy. This guy is truly a beast of a man.

We've all been there..

2010-05-26T11:32:00.005+12:00

Missing buses is the worst. Like, it's kinda funny when you see someone else miss a bus and they're all like "Aww DAMN IT!" and then they awkwardly just stand there, but when it happens to you, it's the worst. I wrote a poem about my frustration, to vent my emotions, cause I'm a girl and that's what we do.

Running down the street,

Pushing people off their feet,

Throwing your hands up in the air,

Thinking “do i have the correct fare?”

The bus driver begins to shut the door,

But it ain’t suppose to leave till four,

He don’t care about that though,

He gotta get home to work on his mo.

You bang on the door pleading to be let in,

You even offer to buy him a bottle of Gin,

But he drives off and cackles to himself,

And you can’t help but think,

“I wanna punch him in the mouth”.

Straight up.

2010-05-24T12:03:00.000+12:00

Looking for new music?

2010-05-21T15:36:00.033+12:00

Remember Myspace? Yea well, it's still around and emo free for the most part. I checked it out recently and found alotta great chilled back artists, so if you're looking for new music, take a gander. (If you know of any other good artists on myspace worth checking out, let us know in the comment section of this blog :) )

Diane Birch
With her voice resembling that of Stevie Nicks it’s easy to see why her music is so popular. Influenced by The Carpenters, Fleetwood Mac, The Beatles and Joni Mitchell has resulted in an eccentric and talented young artist worth hearing.
www.myspace.com/dianebirch

The Alternate Routes

The Alternate Routes give you a little bit of everything. Their mix of both classic, alternative rock songs along with more soft, laidback tunes are sweet and catchy as hell.
http://www.myspace.com/alternateroutes

Charles O’Malley Martin
Alright alright, I know this guy, but he's good, so check him out and hear it for yourself.
www.myspace.com/charlesomalleymartin

Hanan Townshend
New Zealand’s own Hanan Townshend is one talented cat. Hailing from Wellington, Hanan has an unbelievably knack at pulling the listener in with his sweet folk sound. If you like artists such as The Shins and Arcade Fire, then Hanan’s music is where's it's at.
www.myspace.com/hanantownshend

Mia Carruthers and the Retros

Although a “still-in-the-making” band, Mia and the Retro’s are worth keeping an eye on, from listening to a snippet from their upcoming E.P. it is safe to say that this band has a promising future.
www.myspace.com/miacarruthers

Work that elastic, it's looking fantastic.

2010-05-20T16:54:00.002+12:00

I have story to share with y'all... but I'm still writing it, so for now, I will leave you with this....

Birdemic

2010-05-17T09:21:00.002+12:00

Gooooood morning! How was your weekend? Good? Watcha do? See any life-changing films? I'm trying to get my paws on a copy of 'Birdemic', it looks phenomenal.

Bye-Bye

2010-05-14T16:05:00.003+12:00

Hey friends, Jay here.

I'm off to Thailand for 2 weeks, so I'm leaving you in the hands of Fran. She's way better than me anyway, and she likes the Internet way more than me as well. And her eyebrows are better than mine too. look at those things.

See you in a few weeks. If I don't die in Thailand that is. Bloody red shirts.

male strippers are nasty

2010-05-14T15:27:00.005+12:00

Last night I attended a friend of a friend's birthday party out West. Now I don't know how they do it out West...but apparently male strippers are considered totally legit as presents.

Upon arrival, the birthday girl had had more than her fair share of vodka cruisers, and really, thank god because nothing would of prepared her for what was coming next.

She was instructed to sit on a seat while we formed a semi circle around her and was told that we were going to start a drinking game...but instead was presented with Raven, a 5'8 "stud muffin" with an awe inspiring goatie and Jersey shore abs. Raven wasn't what I imagined male stripper to look like (apart from the firefighter getup), but hey, maybe he's just really good at stripping? Well let me tell you now, the answer to that is no.

Like all good strippers, he started with a classic, the Day Bow Bow song by yello. Flinging his axe around, we expected some fireman jokes about it being "hot in here" and "being on fire", but no, our mysterious man instead started grinding on everything in sight and it was about now that I realised he was more of an exhibitionist than a stripper.

55 seconds later he was down to just a man thong. Yum.

He made his way over to his briefcase (An essential for all firemen) and I wondered, "What's in the briefcase? A extinguisher? A hose?" No. A silk wrap around. Because, as we all know, nothing gets girls going more than bare man flesh in silk. Seductively replacing his thong with his wrap around, he preceded to then make his way around the room showing girls his bits and flinging it in their face. A dream come true for all.

Once he had successfully disturbed everyone in the room, he thanked us and awkwardly started collecting his various bits of clothing from the floor...most of us sat there trying to come to terms by what we had just encountered. But the worst was yet to come...

After he had left in his strip-mobile I noticed he had left a little something other than his dignity behind...his white man thong...and upon closer inspection...a delightful little skiddy in the thong...mmmm, it's now a treasured souvenir belonging to the birthday girl.

There is a moral to this story...a man with only hair on his head and chin never makes for a good birthday present. Ever. You've been warned.

My hero

2010-05-14T08:58:00.002+12:00

There are very few words to describe what happens in this video. so just watch it.

arty people have too much time

2010-05-10T16:33:00.002+12:00

that's a chandelier made out of tampons. eewww yucky.

waste of staples.

BIG NEWS: We've launched a new t-shirt website - Parinto.com

2010-05-05T10:46:00.006+12:00

We have a new addition to the Mr Vintage family, www.parinto.com

This morning at around 9.35am (Sandard GMT +12) we welcomed www.parinto.com in to the world. It’s a healthy, functional website, full of t-shirt designs ready to be shipped to your doorstep. We’ve been trying for a while now; but it’s always a pretty tough road building a website, and we’ve kept it on the down low to avoid any potential disappointments, but it’s finally here.

Baby analogies aside, we’re really happy to be announcing the launch of Parinto, and we’d love for all of you to check it out if you’ve got a spare couple of minutes over your lunch break. I can personally guarantee it’ll be more interesting than anything on facebook or twitter today - unless the Parinto news is on facebook or twitter I guess. LINK.

It’s an idea we’ve had for a while; we’ve always wanted to do something that was a little different to Mr Vintage – branching away from the Kiwiana designs – something a little more art-focused. We wanted to create an Internationally accessible brand, work with Internationally acclaimed artists, and create a community for creative’s to contribute and share their passions.

It wasn’t till we met Auckland based designer Stephen Richardson that we realised we could work together; combining our resources, marketing, experience, creativity, and most importantly vision, to create a site that would not only act as an online store, but a creative hub for our favourite International artists, designers, illustrators, and photographers to showcase their latest works.

Fronting the Parinto brand will be Stephen Richardson, you may’ve heard of his label; Richard…son. Richard…son won Metro Magazine’s “Best t-shirt” award in 2007, so he’s kind of a big deal in his own right. He’s a well-travelled dude, and as well as featuring his own designs, he’s handpicked a roster of his favourite designers, illustrators, photographers, and artists to design t-shirts for Parinto. These include Tank Girl comic book legends Alan Martin and Rufus Dayglo, fine artist Max Gimblett, Madrid based illustrator Blanca Gómez, original Memphis Design member Nathalie Du Pasquier, the Cut Collective, and fashion stylist and blogger Adam Bryce amongst others.

You should sign up to the newsletter as well, that’d be a real smart move on your behalf; I tell thee. www.parinto.com Make sure you drop by, there’s a lot more to do than just shop; with a section devoted to keeping you up to date with the contributors involved, read interviews with them, learn about their latest exhibitions, as well as exclusive opportunities to win original pieces by the artists.

If you've got any press enquiries, please contact stephen@parinto.com

www.kokako.co.nz - Best coffee in town

2010-05-03T15:55:00.006+12:00

Kokako are local. Kokako are organic. Kokako are fair trade.

We like Kokako heaps. It’s all we’re drinking. And it smells really glorious.

A big thanks to Mike at Kokako who hooked us up with this delicious Fair Trade Organic Coffee… The dude is a real master of his craft, and if you want the most un-tainted and pure coffee in Auckland, Kokako is the only place to go. They’re literally Auckland’s only dedicated Fair Trade Coffee Roaster. Fresh.

They’ve got a wicked little café in Parnell too (492 Parnell road – just by the Mobil near the top), and if you’re the type that’s really picky about your coffee - this is definitely the place to go and enjoy a quiet cup.

And check out Kokako www.kokako.co.nz they’re switched on as.

Bieber Fever has reached new lows.

2010-04-29T17:26:00.001+12:00

That's Black Flag. don't mess with that shit Justin.

Kiwi Ingenuity

2010-04-27T16:47:00.004+12:00

I've got a friend named Bill, he's an electrician. He's a pretty resourceful guy; the other day he showed me his handy-man job on his ripped jeans. He'd cable-tied the split in his jean's crotch. Not the most aesthetically pleasing I'll admit, but it certainly got the job done.

This guys used Bills technique and taken it to the next level, and I appreciate that. Talk about kiwi ingenuity. No.8 Wire and shit.

Mel's famous.

2010-04-26T16:27:00.005+12:00

click Mel's face and an article will appear. If I typed the right stuff in the link thing.

Following on from the whole Fillet-O-Fish saga of last week, a nice wee lady was lovely enough to write a story on it for the Herald on Sunday. It's pretty cool how news like this travels. I guess it helps when your friend works there and shows the right person the story, thanks Nicki. Mates as.

Dey Bow-Bow

2010-04-23T09:10:00.002+12:00

When I hear this song I think of two things, the old DEKA ad and Ferris Bueller's Day off. When I see this video though, I just wonder what type of drugs Yello were on when they wrote this song and made this video. Seriously weird.

Fillet-O-Fish without cheese. Afraid is impossible, Japanese tradition.

2010-04-22T13:49:00.005+12:00

You’d think that you could get a Fillet-O-Fish Burger from McDonalds without cheese if you so wished. Apparently not, say McDonalds on Great North Road.

Yesterday afternoon Mel trotted up to McDonalds on Great North Road. It’s our local. Mel gets the snazzy new Weight Watchers approved Fillet-O-Fish Meal every so often… girls are funny how they do things like that eh. I guess their marketing works.

Anyway, Mel ordered her Fillet-O-Fish meal, but asked for her burger without the cheese – she hates cheese - can’t have it. Strange, I know, but the girl doesn’t like cheese so we’ll leave that discussion for another day. She’s done this at least 5 times in the last few months, at the same Grey Lynn McDicks, so you can understand her surprise when the little Indian man serving her hesitated and stated he’d have to go check with someone else back there.

Her more experienced team member – we’ll call him More Experienced team member – confirmed it; she couldn’t have the burger without the cheese. Mel wasn’t happy, and used the excuse that she was in fact allergic to the cheese and this is why she couldn’t have it in there. More experienced team member jaunted out back once more and got the heavy artillery – The Manager. The Manager listen to the situation, still no dice. You can’t have the burger without the cheese. Mel reasoned that she would take the cheese of herself, but they melt it on to the pattie and she hadn’t the energy to begin the difficult task of peeling every inch of melted cheese off her processed fish pattie. Still no.

Why couldn’t she have the cheese? Their reason: “any additions or deletions change the overall points value of the meal and the meal is no longer a Weight Watchers Approved Meal”. Give a shit. Take the cheese out, put it on the side… who cares. It’s not a weight-watchers approved meal, Mel don’t care. Besides the fact that taking out the cheese actually makes it MORE of a WeightWatchers approved meal, surely some common sense is in order here. Use your brain silly Mr Manager at the Great North road McDonalds. Really.

When a fuming Mel eventually came back to work clutching a delicious Kumara fritter purchased from the Fish n Chippery and recalled the whole sordid affair, I couldn’t help but think of a scene from Donnie Brasco. You might know the scene. Donnie, Sonny Black and the boys go in to the Japanese restaurant and have an altercation over the shoes, Donnie can’t take them off because of the wire he has in his shoes. The little Japanese restaurateur insists "Afraid is impossible, Japanese tradition". Long story short, they kick the shit out of the restaurateur. The context is completely different I know, and call me sadistic, but I can’t help wonder what Sonny Black and the boys would do if they were with Mel at McDonalds on this fateful afternoon. I bet they’d have got the Fillet-O-Fish without the cheese.

IT DIDN’T END THERE THOUGH.

IT appears that after an exchange of emails the situation is still the same. You can’t take the cheese out of the burger. For shit’s sake. The lunacy runs through the entire McDonalds corporation. Check out the email correspondence:

MELS EMAIL:

Hello there, For lunch today, I went to order the meal I usually get at McDonalds - the Weight Watchers Filet-o-fish meal. As per usual, I asked for no cheese in my burger. I was then told that I couldn't do that (yet I have done it every week for the last four weeks). The manager asked the store manager about it, who continued to inform me that it was to do with the points system that Weight Watchers use - any changes to the burgers alter the points. I understand this, but surely taking away cheese would result in less points, and therefore a healthier burger, right? Usually if it's an issue then I would take the cheese out myself, but since it is melted onto the fish patty I cannot do this. Being allergic to cheese, I couldn't purchase the meal. I would very much appreciate an explanation to this, as it just seems ridiculous. Regards, Melanie

MCDONALDS REPLY:

Dear Melanie Thank you for your email. McDonald's New Zealand is committed to providing our customers with excellent and consistent customer experiences and we were disappointed to hear of your recent experience at McDonald's Grey Lynn, As you are aware, we have launched three Weight Watchers Approved Meals to our menu in New Zealand. Each of these meals has a Weight Watchers points value of 61⁄2. We understand your frustration at not being able to remove the cheese in your Filet o' Fish Weight Watchers Approved Meal, and we agree that at the outset, this does seem such a small change. However, any additions or deletions change the overall points value of the meal and the meal is no longer a Weight Watchers Approved Meal. We are more than happy to meet your menu requirements through our a la carte menu. Customer feedback is important to McDonald's and thank you for taking the time to contact us. Yours sincerely Helen Customer Services

IF YOU REACHED THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST, FIRSTLY - YOU DESERVE A MEDAL. SECONDLY, IF YOU FEEL AS PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS AS WE DO, SEND Customer.Services@nz.mcd.com AN EMAIL TELLING HELEN YOU WANT THE FILLET-O-FISH WEIGHT-WATCHERS MEAL WITHOUT THE CHEESE. AND ALSO TELL HER JAY SAID THAT SHE’S AN EAT-ASS.

That's a shame

2010-04-21T16:28:00.002+12:00

Those saucy Aussies are at it again. Between Peall and Pearce in case you missed it.

The KFC Double Down Burger

2010-04-16T15:16:00.002+12:00

I know, pretty much every dude with a blog and twitter has been posting this over the last few weeks, but I just had to say something about the new KFC Double Down Burger.

I'm a vegetarian, but when I see that Double Down I want to use it as a pillow and wake up in the middle of the night and snack on it.

Cutting Edge report from Chris Kamara

2010-04-16T08:38:00.002+12:00

Reporter Misses the Game He's Covering - watch more funny videos

Vote Jonathan Field. Yes. Say yes.

2010-04-15T16:11:00.004+12:00

Our mate Jonathan Field is a beautiful man. So beautiful that he’s in the running for Australia’s CLEO Bachelor of the year competition. He’s in the top 50 at the moment, so we’d really appreciate if you went and voted for him. It’d be neat to see a New Zealander win the Australian Bachelor of the Year Award. A genuine Maari no less.

One hot tomali.

He’s one of the realest dudes we know, Rob used to flat with him, and as Rob puts it “He’s the kind of guy you’d want your sister to marry”, and it’s true. Besides being an all-round GC, he’s a designer – he designed our Longest Drink in Town and Chur Bay tees – AND a model. You may remember him from a few NZ ads, that lotto one where the chick wins and gets all this new stuff, Johnny was the love interest. He’s been on a KFC ad too, I think makes him a B-Grade celebrity.

Vote for him here: http://www.cleo.com.au/bachelor2010-profile-jonathan-field.htm

Smile like you mean it

2010-04-13T17:16:00.002+12:00

The other day we ran an 'Easter-Tee' Hunt on Twitter, posting goodie bags with tee vouchers around Auckland City.. It was a roaring success, but I'll write a little more on that tomorrow.

For now though, I'll leave you with this delightful fellow that made me smile when he sent in his victorious picture. He looks bloody stoked. Good work my man.

We don't like Nestle no more

2010-04-07T12:23:00.001+12:00

Have a break? from Greenpeace UK.

He's back

2010-03-31T12:30:00.005+13:00

Our mate Rick Giles has issued a response. Perhaps a regular spot on Sunrise is in order. The Anti-Ollie: Rick Giles.

Check it out boys

2010-03-31T11:55:00.004+13:00

This is what happens when you put NZ's most entertaining man on National TV. He should have been on The Apprentice NZ.

The Rugby World Cup

2010-03-30T17:40:00.006+13:00

There are a few rumors circulating today concerning the official song for the 2011 Rugby World Cup. http://bit.ly/93sMA5 Please God, I hope it’s not true.

I’m not the biggest rugby fan in the world anymore, these days my involvement barely extends to processing the score of the latest Blues game rather than looking out for it. I’ll watch the All Blacks, but I can’t really remember the last time I enjoyed an All Blacks game. The game’s digressed; it’s not entertaining, going to games is even worse – the atmosphere is like shagging a dead horse. Lifeless.

smug bastards.

But when it comes to a World Cup, I’ll certainly tune in. It’s the whole feeling about it; opening ceremonies, sudden death, group stages, newspaper schedule pull-outs, and of course, the theme music for the event. One aspect of music that’s really cool is the way it attaches itself to memories. One time I went on a road trip to Wellington and only took a few CD’s, now every time I hear Jakob, Goldenhorse, or Grandaddy, I’m instantly taken back to the images of driving round Wellington. It’s neat.

And now I hear that the Feelers are doing a cover of British pop band Jesus Jones' song 'Right Here, Right Now' for the 2011 Rugby World Cup. Yes, I do have something against the feelers. But that’s because they are genuinely shit, once I was eating at this restaurant and the Feelers started playing; I damn near threw up my Greek Moussaka! This song will be drummed in to my head if I follow this World Cup with any real conviction, etched in to my heart. It will be like James Reid getting inside my head and whaling his grating voice until I go crazy, and the worst part is that he’s probably being paid pretty handsomely to do it.

I've gradually accepted that the Feelers have somehow wormed their way in to becoming one of New Zealand Music’s favorite sons, but to such a degree? Last year they were awarded the honor of having NZ’s highest selling album – it was their greatest hits. You’re having a laugh. What sort of country do we live in when a band like the Feelers reign supreme? General opinion of most people I know, and certainly most people on twitter, is that they’re tits.

It all begs the question really, is watching the 2011 Rugby World Cup really going to be worth it? I think not. But perhaps my ramblings are in fact misguided, it seems NZ love the Feelers. Am I just being unpatriotic? Maybe I should just stay quiet and agree to disagree.

I’ve just now noticed that it’s been confirmed. http://bit.ly/9Vb42o Read it and weep boys.

a marmite tattoo

2010-03-29T16:17:00.003+13:00

One of the first tasks I like to get in to on a Monday morning is the website enquiries. While it can often be quite a menial task, the enquiry content can range from entertaining to frustrating. Today’s enquiries however brought with it a pleasant little surprise we’ve never had before.

Here’s the email we got:

Subject: Marmite and Chips Print
From: Kaylee
Enquiry Date: 2010-03-28 22:11

Hiya, I see the marmite and chips print is the retired prints page. I was just wondering tho, I want to get a tattoo of it but can't copy and save the picture in full so any chance I can get a copy off you guys? :)
Chur!
Kaylee.

Now, while I see it as a huge compliment to Joe’s talent with a pen and computer, it’s pretty crazy. I mean, seriously, it’s not a bad design (above), but is that what you want to look at when you’re like 70… marmite n chips? I’m kind of hoping that she was drunk, seeing as her email was at 11:11pm on a Saturday night, but who knows. Anyway, here are some tattoos that are pretty shit-house.

Remuera Hard bro.

get some.

it's not gay, it's just shit.

The piece de resistance: a diddle, as it is done, with veins.

Joe Wharehinga is a hipster

2010-03-26T16:43:00.003+13:00

Everyone knows someone like this. I do. His name is Joe and he's the designer here at Mr Vintage. He's so indie that when he rides his bicycle, he wears a beanie precariously perched on the top of his head under his helmet.

The Cryptid Factor on bFM

2010-03-24T15:02:00.003+13:00

When you put two grown men with an enthusiastic passion for unknown species of animals in the same room, you’re going to get some entertaining conversation. When those two people are Rhys Darby and David Farrier, you’ve got yourself a radio show and that radio show is called the Cryptid Factor.

And when there is a show as good as the Cryptid Factor floating around the airwaves, it’s usually a good idea to make a t-shirt for that show, so that’s just what we’ve done. check out the Official Cryptid Factor t-shirts and singlets.

If you’ve not heard the show on 95.0 bFM, I suggest you tune in on Sundays from 9am-11am. They’re also doing 3 live shows at the comedy festival, want to go?

You can follow them or you can become a fan or you can do both both. I've done both and it's worked out great for me.

Rob Ewan 4 George Lucas 4 Life

2010-03-23T16:52:00.005+13:00

Today we did a few t-shirts for the Hutt Valley region. And Rob being the fantasy fanatic he is, insisted on this tidy little design – utilising a nice bit of pun work there too.

But Rob’s fantasy obsession is becoming a bit ridiculous, you see, he’s told me he’s saving up to go to this Star Wars convention type thing over in Europe or something. Apparently it’s called the ‘Star Wars celebration’ and I think they just sit around and talk about how George Lucas is a much cooler guy than Peter Jackson. Google it... if you really want to.

So yeah, Rob’s been saving his up his Sir Edmond’s in an effort to make this cool event, and he says that he’s been having more fun than ever. This weekend he said he had the most fun 48 hours he’s ever had and it only cost 6.99 from Pack n Save. Check out what Rob spent his weekend making... Whatever floats your boat, or err, death star.

I didn't ask Rob what the hole was for because quite frankly I'm scared of the answer.

Baracky Obama

2010-03-22T16:54:00.002+13:00

In light of today's historic Health reform bill, I thought it only fair to pay tribute to the great man Barack Obama.

He's all gags. And why not.

St. Patrick's and Social Media

2010-03-18T17:25:00.003+13:00

I remember in my youth St. Patrick’s Day was an occasion that I always looked forward to. At one party, we went to a friend’s flat and threw her chairs off her deck; it was awesome. My friend Ben ended up marrying her flatmate as well, crazy. Another St. Patrick’s Day we went to town, not like Pony club with Brooke-Howard-Hyphenate or anything, just to some bars that you don’t need a girl with you or pointy shoes on to get into. At the end of the night we had to pull over on Hillsborough Rd and I helped old mate Will (Bens brother) spew on the side of the road. Ben drove past and waved, which was nice of him.
This year was fun, but in a much different way. We had Social Media Fun. Man, I’m 25 years old this year and for the first time I totally feel 25.

Back to the Social Media fun, we had a whole bunch of St. Paddys tees leftover. We needed to get rid of the tees quickly, as we were finishing at 3pm to go to the pub; I needed to decide what to do for dinner, and we wanted to have a few drinks before we left. We thought we’d get our friends on twitter and facebook to help us out.

We first asked them to bring a potato (preferably waxy) to the shop, in return for a free St. Paddys tee – Good return. Then we asked them to bring down some Guinness, well, any alcohol really – Success. We then asked them to bring down a scoop of hot chips for a t-shirt – Great Success!

In the end we got:
4 Waxy Potatoes
8 bottles of Guinness
12 Cans of Guinness
6 Cans of Steinlager
2 Bottles of Heineken
2 Bottles of Carlsberg
1 Bottle of Wine
1 Bottle of Opal Nera
Two Baileys n Cream shots
AND
1 Scoop of Hot Chips!

RESULT.

After a few drinks we went down to the Dogs Bollix for some loud Irish Music and a few more drinks. I left at about 5pm, without having a drink, with the other guys. I then went home, had some dinner with my lover, went home and was in bed by 9.30pm. I later received a txt that my name was on the door for the ‘Dead Weather’ gig (Jack White’s band) at the Powerstation. But I was already in bed. On St. Patrick’s Day. I’m 24 years old. And washed up.

You've heard of the Backstreet Boy, yeah?

2010-03-18T14:36:00.002+13:00

From time to time we come across some really famous people wearing our t-shirts. It’s a delight. Last year we had David Beckham’s kid and Kimberley Crossman from Shortland Street. Yep, I know. But now we’ve got one to trump them all.

Little known singer/performer/really great artist Howie D, of the Backstreet Boys fame, sports his Keep NZ Beautiful t-shirt.

Joe and Sale St Bar n Grill

2010-03-17T11:45:00.003+13:00

I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it, but Joe is a big fan of Sale St Bar n Grill, and the other day his mate 'Macca' jumped in one of the little water features outside. Joe said they had been on the booze for hours. I think it's terrible behavior. Joe is a jock who loves Rugby and the Super 14.

Joe said Macca's missus is gonna be ropeable.

Piano Man

2010-03-17T11:41:00.001+13:00

Some people on chatroulette.com are really creative. check out this dude:

SNL feat. Julian Casablancas

2010-03-16T16:58:00.003+13:00

Everything Julian Casablancas does is cool. period.

Round the Bays

2010-03-15T16:58:00.002+13:00

‘Round the Bays’ was on Sunday, and just like previous years we went from Quay St in the City along to the waterfront at St Heliers Bay. Some ran and some walked; either way, it was a joyous occasion for all, and the BBQ after really topped it off. Check the team. RUN AK!

Rob ran in his Prada glasses. #fag.

Being the masters of Marketing and all, we really kicked ass in that our t-shirt didn't even have our logo or any branding on it. Victory.

Team Vintage. We run this shit.

NZ Autumn Gift Fair

2010-03-12T15:07:00.003+13:00

From Sunday through Wednesday (7th – 9th) we were at the Autumn NZ Gift Fair. It was pretty good value, met a few good store-owners and the like. As always with these types of events, we spend a good portion of the time watching people, judging them. Just a little bit, but I’m not going to lie about it – it’s what we do. That and draw naughty pictures of the people we see.

So while we were there – looking, judging, and drawing – Rob decided to dabble in a little bit of rap, as he likes to from time to time. While I can’t show you the pictures we drew (NSFW), I can post the rap. Here goes.

Gift fair – Where we stare. by Rob Ewan

Just been at the Gift Fair selling tees,
Amongst other NZ stuff that was all pretty cheese

Saw heaps of Mums with dyed hair,
Their beads and bracelets made us stare

We were opposite a lady selling disco balls,
Like a $2 store in one of those crappy malls

Women pass with their blonde hair and dyed red fringes,
What’s up with that - can’t they see everyone’s cringes?

Oh well it’s time to pack up and leave
Shout out to my Dad who got a job today, his name's Steve

I tried finding a picture of the type of clientele there, but it seems searching "Mum hairdos with highlights and necklaces and bangles" does not yeild the desired image results. So instead, here's Rapper Rob.

bad ass.

check that shit out

2010-03-11T16:09:00.000+13:00

Crazy horses

2010-03-10T15:08:00.005+13:00

Taika Waititi is pure genius. spend some time enjoying this promo for his new movie, Boy.
http://crazyhorses.co.nz/
http://boythemovie.co.nz/

Parachute FAIL

2010-03-10T14:51:00.001+13:00

That's a shame that is.

Chat Roulette: For Wankers

2010-03-05T17:08:00.002+13:00

Chat Roulette: The new phenomenon sweeping the Internet. It’s one of those things that first came to my attention through old mate Twitter. I just figured it was another tech-savvy fad like Google Wave; Interesting, possibly even helpful, but I’d probably never use it.

Then Joe came to work with the revelation that his mate Max had used Chat Roulette and talked to Jessica Alba. Jessica Alba. I want to talk to Jessica Alba. Apparently he got a screenshot too, so it’s legit.

The following day, Joe came in and recalled last night’s adventures on chatroulette.com. He didn’t talk to Jessica Alba. Nothing of the sort, no sir, nothing like Jessica Alba. What he saw was far more disgusting. I was alarmed – grown men go on chat roulette with the sole purpose of wanking their dicks in to a camera. I suppose they do so in the faint hope of finding a sexy lady to look at, but there’s every chance that they don’t really mind what they find. Exhibitionists of sorts I guess.

Why then did I feel the need to go home and sell the idea to my flat mate? We jumped on; maybe I wanted to see if people were that sick. Maybe I wanted to see Jessica Alba. I think part of me knew what I was going to find - deviants playing with themselves. But I did it anyway, and most people I’ve talked to lately have also taken part.

What I got was a whole lot of nothing – it seems that the sight of two young dudes sitting in a room instantly forced people to click the ‘next’ button. Demoralised, we quickly recruited Tim – my other flat mate – and his girlfriend Nicki. Nicki was the bait and it worked a treat. We were meeting people left right and centre. She had enough though and we had to wait until my lady friend Sian came over till we were back in business.

Sian knew what was going on, and while initially hesitant, we peer pressured her in to sticking with it. After a while she got over the nerves and started having a little bit of fun. Until the inevitable happened, we saw a man pleasuring himself. She squealed and ran off. Ben and I laughed lots. That was it. We got to see what we were there to see. I think. I dunno.

At least some people are a little creative, Joe saw one guy holding up a stick figure drawing but his penis was poking out. That’s legit. And so is this video.

Doing Bombs

2010-03-04T12:47:00.002+13:00

This little Maori kid is awesome. He just loves doing bombs. When I think of what Joe was like when he was little, I like to imagine he was just like this kid.

Kiwis are quite smart

2010-03-03T13:17:00.003+13:00

I've had a fascination for all things hovering for a long time now. I think it was after I saw Back to the Future and the wicked-sweet hover board he rides. Now, this is no hover board, but it's pretty rad. iWant.

Tait is slightly lame

2010-03-03T12:59:00.003+13:00

I expected better from an Australian.

After bowling 4 for 40 runs, never-mind completely choking in the ‘one-over eliminator’ after the match was tied – all Shaun Tait could muster as a response was to pull the fingers at McCullum. You lose Shaun Tate. You lose.

yum (NSFW)

2010-03-02T16:58:00.005+13:00

The other week my flatmate Tim Youngson was in a motorbike accident in which he broke his leg rather badly. His bone fell out and now he has a steel rod in there. Terminator. He's recovering well, and seems in high spirits - morphine helps. Here’s some pictures.

He's so rock n roll old Uncle Tim.

That’s a Grammy nominated bone right there.

Tsunami Warning: Natural Selection

2010-03-02T09:28:00.002+13:00

There was a Tsunami warning so these people at Breaker Bay decided to get their dicks and tits out. real smart move.

Over the weekend there was a Tsunami warning. Some refused to heed the warning, and while there has been little sign of the supposed Tsunami that doesn’t mean you head down to the beach at the height of the warning and flail about tempting fate.

One of these days the Tsunami warning will come to fruition, and while it may sound a little harsh; those dumb enough to continue with their plans for a nude photo shoot on the beach will be eliminated from the human race. Call it natural selection, only those stupid enough to blatantly ignore any sort of Tsunami warning deserve to go.

Hilary Diff is now dead to me.

2010-02-26T11:56:00.000+13:00

I'm going to be honest. I was pretty gutted to hear that my youthful fantasy Hilary Duff is now engaged. Especially seeing the muppet she’s engaged to. He looks like a twat.

Team Tiger

2010-02-25T17:26:00.000+13:00

Onetangi Fish n Chips. Shit house.

2010-02-24T14:15:00.003+13:00

On Saturday I went to Waiheke Island for the day. Waiheke’s a wonderful place when the sun is shining; the air crisp, the birds in-tune, the derelicts placid, the water cool and the fruit sweet.

I was understandably delighted to be spending the day there. As I hopped off the ferry, I had enough time to have a quick disagreement with my special lady friend – good enough that the walk to Onetangi was completely silent and really fast. We made great time, which I love.

Whilst there, we obviously required a delicious meal to satisfy the growing hunger. Fish n Chips made sense. So too did the Onetangi Fish n Chips shop. Much like the feeling you get waking up after a big night on the New Zealand Lager, I immediately regretted my decision.

The prices listed on their menu were a dead giveaway. So too was the sign that read, “Expect to wait a while”. I chuckled and thought (well, hoped really), what great branding – these folk seem really light hearted and funny. Minutes later while still waiting I started to think they weren’t just following the ‘under-promise, over deliver’ management tag line my uni lecturer Mr Barlow had drilled in to me in 1st year. They really were that shit.

One of the chefs then noticed us waiting patiently and called to the waitress to pop inside and serve us. Approaching in a flurry of hand drying, the tubby employee approached and looked at us expectantly, without saying a single word. As we ordered, her expression barely changed, her eye contact was non-existent and I watched as she scratched her crotch for an extended period of time. As a reflex I diverted my eyes elsewhere where I stumbled across more of their tasteful branding – a sign that read, “be nice or leave”. This time I let out a cheeky little lol.

Upon receiving our food, we were astonished to find that our ‘scoop’ of chips was closer to a child’s handful, the spicy calamari consisted of two tubes, and the hot-dog on a stick was actually on a stick and not a tooth-pick.

Next time you go to Waiheke, take a picnic, unless you want to be served fish and chips by Lucifer.

If you want real Fish n Chips go to ‘Bonzo Burgers Bar’ on Mt Eden Rd. Bonzo is a great guy.

Mr Bonzo will give you a generous scoop of chips that for damn-tooting.

Gizzy. a round of applause.

2010-02-19T17:19:00.004+13:00

Some interesting news came to light today. Gisborne is the newly crowned ‘Clap Capital’ of the North Island. Which is great.

I think previously Hamilton had held the title, but they’ve now been defeated. Word has it a large number of New Years revelers had an impact in these telling statistics. I’m not pointing my finger at Hayden.

Our designer Joe is from Gisborne, and while he’s not too happy with the new title, he is thinking about a new t-shirt design. I have a feeling he will no longer be welcome in his family home.Gizzy.

Joe. Gazing off in to the fields of Clap.

Joe's favourite rapper is Jay-Z

2010-02-17T16:21:00.002+13:00

99 Problems.

Lost

2010-02-16T17:14:00.000+13:00

The Double Pounder. and a pounder too.

2010-02-12T16:43:00.004+13:00

Hayden came in to work today with a great drunken tale. He does this a lot. Youths.

Him and his white mates purchased a few bottles of wine and drove them in to their guts. Drunk. Then, as it is done, they visited McDonalds. That’s when Hayden decided he wanted to see one of his friends eat a ‘Pounder’ (comprised of 4 quarter patties w/ cheese in-between each).

His tall mate Ollie was up for it, so Hayden obliged and set him on his way. Ollie can’t say no. But that’s another yuck story.

He finished with ease, the only evidence being a slight sheen to his face. Meat sweats.

So Hayden got him a Double Pounder. 8 patties. 8 slices of cheese. $27 Large.

The McDonalds manager was so stoked - he had never seen this feat achieved before - he was taking photos and even arranged for a bin to be positioned beside Ollie so he could put his meaty/winey guts in there.

Glad I'm vegetarian.

Ollie got there in the end. Somehow. And then he took advantage of the managers generosity and put the contents of his insides in to that bin. Patrons watched on; some cried, some complained, and some applauded the act. All were amazed.

Thanks Hayden. And Ollie too.

lil bit

2010-02-10T16:48:00.002+13:00

Alison Mau.

Cupcakes beat flowers any day. Especially VALENTINES DAY.

2010-02-09T16:43:00.009+13:00

The other day the people at DelishCupcakes.co.nz sent us some of their cupcakes and we ate them all up very quickly.

So we got to thinking. Valentines Day... LIGHT BULB.

Wheels motioned.

Come in to the MR VINTAGE STORE this Friday, Saturday or Sunday (12th, 13th, or 14th), spend over $50 and we’ll give you a FREE DELISH CUPCAKE. OR come down and just buy them for $5.

These aren’t just ordinary cupcakes. They’re handmade with LOVE, and a custom little Mr Vintage Valentines design is on top. They come individually boxed, sealed with a sticker – ready for you to give to the one you LOVE.

There are 3 flavours; strawberry n vanilla, dark choc with white, and red n white choc. BUT it doesn’t really matter; they’re all ridiculously delicious.

They’re a fellow NZ business, and we really dig what they do. Well. What they make. Delicious cupcakes. So give the gift of cupcakes and t-shirts this year.

Mr Vintage and Delish Cupcakes – Taking care of your Valentines Day so you can focus on the kissing/heavy petting.

had to laugh at Andrew Hore.

2010-02-09T16:28:00.002+13:00

The Seal Shooter just loves it. and you can tell. it's all over his face.

The t-shirt of the day is now $19.95!

2010-02-08T17:03:00.002+13:00

We thought it’d be cool to do a few new things around the place this year. To keep things fresh.

So we did a bit of math. Chewed our pencils. Crunched some numbers. Scratched our heads. Carried a few two’s.

Worked out that we could actually make the t-shirt of the day $19.95.

We all thought it’d be a good idea. So we just went right ahead and did it.

YUS!

NOW the t-shirt of the day is $19.95 THAT’S AWESOME.

Tell all your friends about me. Like Batman.

at just $19.95 even this kid can now cover up.

Doing 'Round the Bays this year'?

2010-02-08T15:41:00.001+13:00

Take a load off. We'll take care of your tees.

SERIOUS X......lol.....sometimes

2010-02-05T16:06:00.001+13:00

I had a dream where a hamburger ATE ME!

2010-02-04T16:38:00.001+13:00

Introducing Mighty Joe Wharehinga.

2010-02-04T16:26:00.001+13:00

Dreamboat. Mel said he has "nice arms"

shame bro

2010-02-03T14:41:00.001+13:00

Hayden is back!

2010-02-02T15:57:00.004+13:00

The start of the month brought with it an exciting little treat in the form of the returning Hayden.

Now, traditionally, when Hayden arrives back from a spell out, he comes equipped with some of the most exciting, unbelievable and entertaining stories. This time round, not so much. He did have one tale about getting strip searched for drugs at some summer youth event, but that was about it.

I’m sure you’re disappointed too, so I thought I’d post this lovely pic I got from his bebo page.

"I'd be a sexy chick..."

LONG WEEKEND

2010-01-29T16:33:00.002+13:00

It's a long weekend on account of Auckland Anniversary Weekend. so we're all going away, which means we won't be back till Tuesday. BUT, just to keep you happy we're offering FREE NATIONAL SHIPPING over the long weekend. enjoy. HAPPY - just like the guys below.

this kid is awesome

2010-01-28T16:14:00.000+13:00

I want that one.

take a closer look

2010-01-27T09:35:00.002+13:00

Francesca sent me this neat little auction. Check it out.

Girls are yuck.

I'd def hang with this guy.

2010-01-26T17:22:00.002+13:00

Corporal Willie Apiata, VC

2010-01-25T15:47:00.007+13:00

There’s been a huge furore over those photos published of Corporal Willie Apiata, VC, in Afghanistan. I just want to say one thing. He looks so freaking awesome, even my dear old Mum said, “He looks really tough and cool”.

Joe is considering enlisting after seeing the picture, on the flip side, I feel like way less of a man having seen that picture. It’s a similar feeling I get after watching Man vs. Wild. Bear Grylls is the man, and a far better man than I.

I also see that Millie Holmes/Elder has been arrested again.

That's a piece of poo with decorations on it Millie. from a distance it may look like chocolate or something good and nice, but I assure you it's not. it adds a little bit more to society than you do.

International Week

2010-01-25T09:15:00.004+13:00

Being from New Zealand is cool. But it’s cool being from other countries too. And seeing as though it’s errr, International ‘International Week’ (we've invented this event), we thought it’d be a whiz-bang idea to do some internationally inspired t-shirts.

You should have seen Joes face when we told him to design some non-Kiwiana t-shirts – confusion clouded his squinty little eyes and he seemed utterly bemused but decided to have a crack – the first draft he eventually came back with was a NZ map. “no no Joe, non NZ themed t-shirts” we said. So we gave him a few ideas, and we’re pretty happy with what we’ve come up with.

Oh, and a big thanks to Robs mates, who call themselves the 'All Drunks' - they actually came up with the concept and a few of the ideas for International Week. No doubt they were chopping back a few beers, as they do, while inspiration struck. Cheers boys.

We're starting today, so drink it in.

Here's our first effort. China. It Woks.

Whakapapa your Mum did.

2010-01-21T15:45:00.006+13:00

On Friday the majority of us went to the big day out. Good things too, cos apparently we angered the Maori Language Commission people over the 'Whakapapa – you Mum did' t-shirt. Joe designed it, and he’s Maori.

Haydens Nips - causing quite the stir.

But seriously, it’s just a cheeky little pun and everyone loves a good pun. Before we released it we asked everyone on facebook about the design, and the feedback was well positive – and to be fair we’ve only received two complaints since the story was covered.

It's Cool To Kōrero. Oh yeah, and we asked our fans on facebook if they found the t-shirt offensive and this one lady hit us with this. I found it funny. what a crazy chick - I reckon she'd be no fun to hang out with.

Q: Hey guys. Do you think our Whakapapa tee is culturally insensitive?

A: No. I believe your gross commitment to Colonizing bastardization of Indigenous Language and Cultural heritage is though. As a Kuia and a Mother of Kohanga reo and Kura Kaupapa Maori tamariki I find your embicilic self serving racist ignorance enhancing passive aggressive Ostrich with butt in the air theft, rape, pillage and plunder approach ...all too sad and predictable for European exiles.

You are a credit to Colonial Schooling ...it not only failed the Indigenous peoples it succeeded in transmitting massified ignorance of which YOU are a classic example Mr V.

Your willingness to slam anyone who challenges your right to steal, pillage and plunder Indigenous Intellectual and Cultural property while you trivialize, hypersexualize and shaft it's Sacred lineage perfectly sums you up. YOU do not own this language. YOU do not walk in respect with this culture. YOU are an outsider making insider claims for which YOU do not have any Tribalz permission. YOU are a classic Colonizing racist ignoramus ...do not pull the ...oh I'm just kidding and its only a bit a fun rubbish here ...I have to raise children in the aftermath of your stupidity for the cheap and nasty thrill of your cash register ego arrogance. YOU do not simply impact a language ...YOU impact a whole Web of Existence for which YOU take no responsibility.

I also have European Ancestors. So don't pull that bull on me that this is acceptable to all Europeans either. It is irresponsible, blatantly commercial gangsta prostitution of Indigenous Peoples heritage ...for a buck. Well done to your Christopher Columbus curse.

Anyway, check out some of the articles if you want to.

YouTube video
TVNZ story
newstalkZB even got amongst it.

lolski

2010-01-21T14:47:00.001+13:00

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

2010-01-14T11:42:00.000+13:00

i do like him, but it's true.

2010-01-13T13:26:00.001+13:00

We're back.

2010-01-11T13:47:00.004+13:00

So we’re all back from holiday, some of us last week – but we’re almost back

Rob: Was in Matakana with his mates. At 28 I think his Dance Party days are dying down; his focus instead shifting to other areas like marriage and kids.

Andy: Partied in Hahei with a whole bunch of his friends over New Years, the remainder was spent playing playstation, at the gym, eating, and sleeping.

Jay: I spent a large amount of time tanning my thighs. They’re pretty black now – though they could be blacker. Also became a vegetarian.

Joe: Went to Gisborne and tried to impress his old school mates by doing some extreme Water Sports. Broke his arm skim boarding in a move that failed to earn him any additional ‘street-cred’.

Andrea: Went to Matakana and managed to avoid her brother Rob the entire time. Mean.

Hayden: Went to Australia where I’m presuming he got really drunk and did stupid things. Highlight: being given the ‘rubber-glove’ treatment by a cop, on account of the person next to him tripping balls.

Melanie: Played some drinking games at ‘Coro Gold’ involving a hammer, a sock, flames, a buffalo (stuffed for safety reasons), a 9-iron, and some ice cubes.

Phil: Just hung out, had a few curries and rode his scooter about the place. Printed a few t-shirts too.

Francesca: Went to New York and returned with a whole bunch of goodies for everyone – which was awesome. Jalapeno & Ranch Pringles. The best crisp you’ve ever eaten. Easily.

Mat: He’s not really here anymore, and I don’t really know what he did.

Sarah: Travelled around the globe missing Hayden.

And we’ve pretty much all seen/are going to see 3D Avatar.

Oh, and have a look at this. The kid is good.

KFC is open on Christmas Day

2009-12-21T17:27:00.001+13:00

legit

2009-12-18T16:48:00.002+13:00

302B Great North Rd

2009-12-17T16:25:00.002+13:00

I’m super shit at Christmas. Like shopping and stuff I mean. Actually I’m pretty useless at Christmas Day come to think of it – the last two years I’ve had to take a little break during family Christmas and nip off to bed and take a mini sleep.

Traditionally it’s taken a frantic blast of late night shopping. Late night Christmas mall shopping is the worst: rushed, stressed, and congested traffic. I’m not coping well - flustered, sweaty, hungry, shop assistants are asking me if I need help – which I do, but clearly not the type of help they can give me.

Spread the Christmas Love.

There's the goodie sacks.

I don’t want you to experience what I experienced... So we’re going to make your Christmas Shopping even easier by keeping the store open till 9pm tonight, and make it even cooler by giving away some gear. TONIGHT ONLY - come in to the showroom after 7pm and the first three customers who ask “CAN I HAVE SACK?” will get a SANTA SACK of all sorts of goodies for your troubles.

There's my face.

Christmas Debauchery

2009-12-16T15:34:00.001+13:00

Sorry it’s taken so long to report back with the results from the Christmas Party on Friday, but I just can’t handle hangovers like I used to… I’ve spent the last few days just wallowing away feeling like someone made me do 18 shots of petrol.

The Christmas Party was highly anticipated this year, with the largest attendance ever recorded – a testament to our rapid growth this year. And it didn’t disappoint. It was a night of drama, competition, revelation and romance. But first, a recap of the amazing race challenge. Turns out my predictions were spot on.

Team A: 2nd
Joe, Andy, Rob, Andrea.
Early predictions of underhand tactics proved correct when the opening task of putting together a puzzle resulted in Joe and Andy ambushing Team B and destroying their almost completed puzzle. While they performed several tasks with aplomb and admirably attended every checkpoint on time, they just weren’t good enough in the end.

Team B: 3rd=
Jay, Hayden, Jared, Matt.
Exceeded expectations by even making it out of the bar and ticking a few tasks off the list. Unfortunately that only lasted about 20 minutes before they were back at the bar – where they set about working their way through the shots menu – missing every checkpoint along the way. Only got kicked out of one bar, which is a sensible effort all things considered.

Team C: 1st
Mel, Sarah, Francesca, Phil.
We don’t really know how they did it, but they did. The power puff girls dominated from start to finish displaying enthusiasm, determination and organization. Not exactly a crowd favorite, but congratulations are in order. Seeing Phil kiss his medal all night made us sick.

After that we went back to work for a few drinks, before heading out to Monsoon Poon for one of the most delicious meals we’ve ever had. Thanks Monsoon Poon – we endorse what you do. A night on the tiles followed at Casette9 and later Honey Bar. We lost a few along the way, and Saturday morning work sucked, but we got it done.

Highlights of the night:

Jared spewing
Hayden in a skimpy little white dress
Jared spewing again

Christmas Party Predictions

2009-12-11T10:25:00.002+13:00

So we’ve got our Christmas party today. And there’s only one thing I love more than Christmas Parties, and that’s Weddings. Nohomo - I just love whipping off the tie and putting it around my head for the dance portion of the evening.

In 2007 we went to the Mexican café and got drunk and then did some Karaoke, which was a blast. Last year we got drunk and then went to Spookers, which again was a blast.

So this year we’re doing an Amazing Race type deal where we cavort around the CBD looking for clues and stuff like that. Which we will be doing drunk. There are three teams, and the razzing has already begun. A healthy rivalry is developing, so I thought I’d take a closer look at the teams and their credentials.

TEAM A

Members: Hayden, Mat, Jay, and Jarred
Captain: Jay
Strengths: Underdogs for obvious reasons; their understated preparation means they’re a team not to be ignored, partly because there are only two other teams.
Weakness: A penchant for getting hammered drunk could see this team spending a large portion of this competition up a tree with a 12 box each playing ‘possum’. A realistic outcome.
Media Tag: Party boys with no fear and nothing to lose, except their police diversions.
Prediction: Unlikely victors, they’re quick on their feet and are unlikely to be phased by pressure or time restrictions. 3rd

TEAM B

Members: Joe, Andy, Rob, Andrea
Captain: Joe
Strengths: Several ‘Captain of Industry’ types; there’s certainly a competitive streak in Team B.
Weaknesses: Arrogance, in which they possess an abundant amount. Andy’s reluctance to break a sweat, resulting in muscle loss. And the big question; can Andrea step out of big bro Robs shadow and make a contribution.
Media Tag: Pompous men unafraid of using underhand tactics. They talk a lot but it remains to be seen if it’s all bullshit.
Prediction: The tactical nous of Andy, the silent leadership style of Joe and the can-do attitude of Rob should see them competing for a top three spot. 2nd

TEAM C

Members: Francesca, Sarah, Mel, Phil
Captain: Mel
Strengths: With a particularly female presence, this team undoubtedly has drive and organisation the other teams lack. They’ve copped a lot of pre-party criticism – motivation. In Mel they have a competent leader.
Weaknesses: With Phil being the only guy, there is already a click developing. Key will be gelling and using all the attributes of each member. Three girls and very little physical strength may count against them.
Media Tag: Power Puff Girls. And Phil.
Prediction: They’re not expected to perform, but their heart, determination and systemisation could see them take this out. 1st

The Rat

2009-12-10T10:36:00.003+13:00

On Monday we were having our office meeting, just sitting around. We were all performing our usual tasks.

Andy was cutting the calluses off his hands with scissors
Joe was doodling some diddles on his pad
I was thinking about how I need to tan my thighs more for summer
Mel was waiting patiently with her little note pad in hand like a good student of PR
Rob’s head was buzzing like an ADHD child about to explode after his brainstorming session.

So we got started when suddenly out the corner of his eye, Rob noticed a RAT stroll in from the showroom through the office and under the couch. Resembling a well-rehearsed Mexican wave, Rob leading the way, we all jumped on to our seats and/or closest piece of furniture that took us closer to the heavens and bellowed out a series of high-pitched expletives - perhaps in a bid to deafen the scampering vermin.

Real Men taking care of bidness.

Personally, I had the toes out that day so no way was I putting the flippers down on ground level to get chewed off. This rat was BIG. And it was quick. So we called in the reinforcements. Hayden came in from out back armed with a rubber mallet, a cricket bat, two of those leveler sticks that builders use and promptly proclaimed his intent “Fuck it, I’ll just kill it”...

It was hysteria; everyone had a prod, I ran out in to the warehouse, Joe stepped on it and it ran over his size 13 foot, it climbed up one of the computers, Andy ignored it and went back to work, and we finally settled on the tactic of luring it in to a cardboard box. We felt this would cut down on blood splatter, risk of infection, and utilise Mel’s lightning reflexes.

We won. Joe and Rob directed the Rat in to the box for Mel to trap and after performing a ritualistic celebratory dance; we released the beast on to Great North Rd. With that, the Rat skipped out of the box and sprinted up Great North Rd and in to the Car Dealership next door. We wish him well and thank him for the most entertaining meeting of our lives.